Swing Shift Volume 9- What About the Kids?

Way back when Veronica and I first solicited ideas for an advice column Topaz left a comment with the following question:

What are your thoughts on prepping children on sexual attitudes (both boys and girls), and what is the healthiest way to handle a situation if they ever were to find out anything?

Then not too long ago the wonderfully sexy Sadie wrote this post in which she wondered how she’ll deal with telling her daughter about her and her hubby’s open marriage someday, which got me thinking about Topaz’s question again.

Just as a reminder, Darling Boy just turned 9 and Princess Persistent is 3, so we haven’t gotten to the point where we have to worry about what DB is figuring out.

They know we go out a bit and often come home after they’re asleep.

Veronica: I have talked to DB about that as he had asked why we go out.  I explained to him that in order to have a healthy marriage that the parents have to go out on dates and have quality alone time together.   I explained that this is the same as when Hubman and I try to do special things with DB or PP individually (like the NY trip) so we can connect with them on an individual basis.  Thankfully, he understood that explanation.

We have made a few minor mistakes in the past [fucking others in the living room, letting the kids meet prospective playmates before we had a secure relationship with them] but fortunately we’ve been able to learn from them without them coming back to bite us in the ass.

But someday they’re going to figure out what we’re up to.  Unless we decide to stop before then, but for the sake of addressing this topic, let’s assume Veronica and I are just having way too much fun to stop…

How are we going to deal with that?

I don’t have a freakin’ clue.

Veronica:  I think that the later bedtime will inhibit our hosting before DB ‘figures things out’.  Right now he is asleep by 9pm most nights, which makes hosting easy.   Based on talking to other couples at parties, it seems that many couples either drop out or become party people once the children turn 11 or 12 and then get back into hosting when the kids leave for college.  Since there is a five and a half year age difference between the children, that means we have a long time before everyone is out of the house. So I think that in about two years we will either have to look for people that host, meet in hotels, go to parties, or seriously fall in love with the idea of sleep away camp and have a summer of fucking.   I also think that if we move again, we are looking for a place with a Mother-in-law apartment that we will officially use for ‘visiting grandparents’  and the place where mommy is ‘working on her novel’, but will really become the love lounge.

I do know this. I want my kids to grow up thinking that it is perfectly normal for adults to have an active and satisfying sex life. I want my kids to understand that sex is something between people who care about each other.  I want my kids to understand that it is acceptable to be attracted to a member of the same sex.

Veronica: Our kids and them having a healthy sense of sexuality comes 1st.  I also don’t want them tossing the fact that we swing in our faces when we talk to them about sex and morality.  In addition our kids have big mouths.  Even if we told them not to talk about it, I am sure that something innocent would come up in conversation.  And while those of you in the blogosphere are fine with what we do, we know that our families, co-workers, and the parents of their friends would not.  Heck, Hubman and I started a family blog to protect ourselves from any comments DB might make about us blogging.

And yes, I do not want my kids having casual sex as teenagers, even though that is exactly what Veronica and I do as adults.

Veronica:  And that is the difference.  We are adults.   We are mature enough to handle the emotional implications of what we do.  I think our discussions of sex will be the same as our discussions of drinking, that it is a privilege and not a right that you must be responsible enough to enjoy.  I don’t expect our children to make it to the altar as virgins.  Heck, my own mother who did wait until the wedding night that told me it was a TERRIBLE idea.  Personally I will be happy if they make it out of High School without having sex (mostly because if they are not living at home, I can pretend its not happening).  I really think that the best thing that Hubman and I can do is explain why they should treat their bodies respectfully and only share their sexuality with people who appreciate them, care about them deeply and treat them and their bodies with respect.

So I don’t know if this comes anywhere close to answering Topaz’s question.  But that’s how we see things now.  Ask us again in 2 years and our answer may be completely different.

To turn the tables, for our swinging or open relationship friends with teenage kids, did you tell your kids about your lifestyle choice, hide it from them, or deal with it if/when they figured something out?  I’m curious…

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As always, comments and questions are welcome.  Either comment here or e-mail me at hubman38 at gmail dot com.  And if you wish to remain anonymous, just say so.

A Rebuttal, of Sorts

Many of you have probably read my wife’s post yesterday about our date on Friday night.  If not, click here and read it first.  Sometimes we have great dates and the chemistry is there all around, other times that is definitely not the case.  In no way am I questioning Veronica’s sense that the chemistry wasn’t there between her and Darryl, because I agree with her.

I’ll freely admit that Barbie is probably the single hottest woman I’ve ever had sex with and would fuck her again in a heartbeat.  So yes, while I’m seriously disappointed that Veronica and Darryl didn’t have good chemistry, I won’t do a thing to pressure her to see them again.

There have been times where she and I have written a post together and I think that this date provided the perfect opportunity to do so, considering our widely disparate experiences that evening.  Yesterday I drove to NY and back to retrieve Darling Boy from his week at grandpa’s house and she wrote and published her post while I was gone.  While I’m disappointed that we didn’t have the opportunity to co-author a post about the evening, I’m more disappointed in how she portrayed numerous aspects of the evening, casting Darryl and Barbie in an unnecessarily harsh light.  The particulars of what I disagree with don’t matter.  Veronica and I have talked, and it’s all good.

We had a mixed experience with a couple and won’t be seeing them again.

Moving on…

How far we’ve cum

It’s hard to believe that not quite a year ago Veronica and I were knocking on the door for our first hotel room swingers meet and greet.  Our hearts were literally pounding as we looked at each other and thought “what the hell are we doing?”  Never mind the following weekend, when we broke our swinger cherries and I was so nervous that I utterly failed to perform.

And now?  Consider this past Wednesday night…

Veronica and I meet Paul and Sally at a driving range and goofed around for a while, hitting a bucket of balls, flirting shamelessly and catching up on what has been going on in our lives since the last time we met, about a month prior.

The mosquitos are out in full force but it’s too early to return to our house [can't get home with PP still up; DB is away with grandpa this week] so we hit a local sports bar for a round of drinks. The conversation is relaxed and casual, we joke with each other, talk about lifestyle experiences, and of course continue to flirt quite a bit.

We return to our house, send the sitter on her way, and relax in the living room for a bit.  Sally is a little reluctant to play tonight because she is a serious germ-o-phone and Veronica and I are both fighting head colds.  She turns to Paul and asks “Will you be mad if we don’t fuck them tonight?” and Paul, bless him says with a twinkle in his eye “Damn right I will!”  With a grin on her face, Sally announces “Well that settles it!  Let’s go downstairs and have sex!”

Lights are adjusted, condoms are found, the dog is sent upstairs, and Sally and I lay together on the futon while Veronica and Paul opt for a sheet spread out on the floor.  We offer to make room for them, but they’re happy where they are at.

Sally and I start kissing and tugging at each others clothes.  Of comes her pants, my shorts, her shirt, my shirt, her bra.  I look over and Veronica is on her knees with Paul’s extra-thick cock in her mouth and he’s moaning with pleasure.  I slip my hand between Sally’s legs and play with her beautiful large labia, spreading her juices around and pushing a finger inside her pussy.  She leans over and takes me in her mouth, coating my cock with saliva then wrapping her large breasts around my cock and licking my head each time it appears in front of her mouth.  I return to her mouth and a’m standing at the edge of the futon as she’s on her knees facing me, so I lean forward and slide a hand down her back, between her ass-cheeks, over her asshole, and push 2 fingers into her pussy.  I start to finger-fuck her in synchronicity with my thrusting into her mouth until she has her first orgasm.

Sally rolls over onto her back and spreads her tan legs wide, inviting me in.  I readily accept the invitation and bring her to one, two, three more orgasms, before I come up and kiss her.

You like tasting your cunt juices on my face, don’t you?

Oh yeah, don’t I taste good?

You sure do!  But I bet you want my cock now, don’t you?

I roll on a condom and she’s jumps into doggy position, pointing her ass at me.  I rub my head up and down her slit then slowly enter her, feeling her walls yield to my hard shaft.  For the next 15 minutes we continue to fuck, doggy style, her on top, me on top…  Occasionally we glance over and watch Veronica and Paul, until he cums deep inside her.

I want you to cum inside me too, and soon!

I lift her legs onto my shoulders and beginning pistoning away at her pussy, talking dirty, asking her how she likes my cock deep inside her, how she wants to feel me spasming as I cum.

And then I do, setting off her own simultaneous orgasm, her pussy quivering around my pulsing cock…

We collapse on the futon, only to regain our bearings and find Veronica and Paul watching us.

And then we hear Princess Persistent crying upstairs   I pull on my shorts and run upstairs to get her settle down before she really wakes up.  By the time I emerge from her room a few minutes later, the others are dressed and hanging out in the living room.  It is a weeknight and getting late, so it’s no surprise that they have to get going.  As we’re saying our goodnights, Sally says “we really like you guys, you’re nice people and you fuck good”

That’s Veronica and I, the nice people who fuck good

It’s amazing what can happen in one year.

HNT Evening Routine Edition

Just like I have a morning routine, there is an evening routine.  Once the kids are settled in bed, Veronica and I take our places in the living room.

Me in my “dad chair”, so named because she got it for me for my first Fathers Day.

And Veronica takes her place on the sectional.  We peruse blogs, write posts, check out swinger profiles, and other much more mundane computer ’stuff’

And most nights, the evening ends with…

Oh, never mind, you don’t want to see pictures of us having sex *wink*

HNT Morning Routine Edition

Every morning during the week brings the same routine.  Veronica’s alarm goes off, she says “motherfucker” and hits the snooze button once or twice.  She makes her way to the shower and I follow along.  We have 2 bathrooms but enjoy the few minutes to chat before the munchkins spoil everything, so I’ll shave while she’s in the shower.  Sometimes she finishes before I do and this particular day she grabbed the camera.

*click-click to see what else I shaved*

Veronica is continuing her Housework HNT series.  Why don’t you stop by for some warm cookies right out of the oven?  Then head over to Osbasso to see who else is getting half-nekkid this week.

Was I Dreaming?

We pull into a parking space in the crowded lot, aware that we don’t have much time to search for the “perfect” spot.  No sooner do I put the car in park then we’re all over each other, mouths exploring, hands rubbing each other through our clothes.

She must have known we would end up like this, dressed in a low-cut shirt and a skirt.  The site of her tan cleavage is too much…

Show me your tits

She quickly moves to lift up her shirt, but not before taking one furtive glance around the parking lot.  We are close to her office, after all, and you never know who might come walking by.  She pulls down her shirt and lifts her DD tits out of her bra.  I lean in, drawing a long, hard nipple into my mouth, delighting in the weight of her tits in my hands.

Oh my God, your tits are absolutely perfect!  They look even better in person that I imagined they would!

Her hands roam over my crotch and she moans in appreciation when she discovers how erect I am.

I want to see it.

I open my shorts, pull down my briefs, and she leans over the console and immediately engulfs my cock with her mouth, teasing the head with her tongue in between long strokes up and down my shaft.

I pull up her skirt and rub her thighs as she continues to blow me.

You better slow down, or I’m going to cum in your mouth real soon.

We wouldn’t want you cuming too soon now, would we?

Sit back and relax.

I pull her skirt up higher then move her panties to the side, revealing her visibly damp pussy.  I slide my hand over her pubic mouth, over her erect clit, then easily sink 2 fingers in her oh-so-wet pussy.  I withdraw my fingers and bring them to my mouth, licking her juices off and wishing the car wasn’t so small and keeping me from eating her pussy.

We kiss again, hands continuing to explore.

Until we realize how long we’ve been sitting here while we both should be at work.

I really need to get back to my office.

Yes, I know.  I’ll drive you back.  We can continue this some other time.

TMI Tuesday and Southern Vixen’s New Home

Since Blogger wouldn’t give her an answer and was essentially holding her blog captive, Southern Vixen decided to make the move to WordPress.  Go here to visit her new site and be sure to update your bookmarks, blogrolls and feed-readers!

After what has been a slightly quiet time lifestyle-wise for the last few weeks, this week is quickly shaping up to be VERY busy.  Perhaps there will be some tales to tell later this week…

Not too long ago I grumbled about having a lot of post ideas but not being about to write any of them.  So this weekend I started drafting posts, leaving them in draft status to fine tune when I’m ready to use them.  The problem?  I have 10 drafts saved!!!

I just learned that there is a WordPress app for the iPhone!  Now I just have to figure out how to use it!

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TMI Tuesday Nighty-Night Edition

How ironic that this weeks questions are courtesy of my wife AND that I’m writing this at 1:30 in the morning, because she and I have been up with a sick kid.  I can’t fall back asleep just yet, so hear I am laying in bed while Veronica comforts PP in the living room…

1. Do you have “your” side of the bed? Which side?

Being the sometimes annoyingly precise person that I am, I ask “from what perspective?”  Laying here and facing the ceiling I’m on the right side of the bed.  But standing at the foot of the bed and looking at it, you would say that I’m on the left side.  Yes, I can be a pain in the ass to deal with sometimes…

2. How old is your pillow and what condition is it in?

I don’t know how old it is, but it’s in good shape so I suppose it’s not too old.

3. What is your favorite position to sleep in?

Laying on my side, most of the time.  I can also sleep pretty good on my back.  I used to being able to sleep pretty well laying on my stomach, but nowadays my lower back won’t let me.  I’m gettin’ old…

4. How often do you change your sheets?

Well I change them pretty rarely.  But only because Veronica is usually the one who changes them.  Probably once a week, maybe a little less often than that.

5. What helps you fall asleep when insomnia strikes?

A long time ago, I learned a trick that takes a little discipline.  Lay on your back and find a comfortable and neutral position.  Take a few deep breaths and focus on relaxing your body.  Start at the tips of your toes and imagine a wave of relaxation working it’s way slooooooooowly up your legs.  Once your feet are relaxed, the kind of relaxed where you think you can’t even feel them, do the same with your hands.  If you find any thoughts entering into your mind besides thinking about how relaxed and heavy your limbs feel, mentally move back towards your hands and feet then start working towards your bodies center again.  Invariably I drift off to sleep before the wave of relaxation reaches the center of my body.

So why haven’t I used this trick tonight?  Remember that sick kid? She’s keeping me from relaxing.  Oh well, she’ll drift off to sleep soon and then so will Veronica and I…

6. Does sex make you sleepy or energized?

Depends on the time of day.  Morning or during the day sex energizes me, night time sex makes me sleepy.  But then again, we had some great sex about 2 hrs ago and here I am in the middle of the night writing this post, so there goes that theory.  It’ll soon be time for that insomnia trick…

7. What is the minimum amount of sleep that you need to be functional the next day.

For how long?  A few days in a row, I can get by with 5-6 hours a night, maybe less.  But then after a few days I’ll crash and sleep for 10 hrs.  Normally I do pretty well with about 7 hrs of sleep per night.

Happy TMI!!

p.s. Ooops. Running late. Here is Another Suburban Mom to save the day (she is good at that).

p.p.s. You, too, can be a star. I would be more than happy to post your theme/questions! EMAIL me at prince[dot]hapnik[at]gmail[dot]com!

Pants on Fire

Take a look at these screen captures of two profiles, each from a different swingers website

Obviously, I’m posting these because they are of the same couple.  For starters, the profile name is the same on both sites and the pictures are the same.  Plus, we know them.

Notice some differences?

How about the age?

It gets better.  Neither age listed for either of them is correct.  They’re in their early fifties.

And believe me, they look it.  There will be no fooling anyone about their age!

The part about several months experience? Fiction.  We’ve been seeing them at parties as long as we’ve been going, which is almost a year.  From what we’ve seen both of them do, they are far from newbies!

The moral of the post: please, be truthful on your profile!  Even if you’re not known in the local party scene, eventually whoever you do meet is gonna figure out that the profile isn’t entirely truthful.

Southern Vixen’s HNT

[If you really want to read something from me today, go to Hot Dad's where I write about wounding my little girl]

If anyone has tried to visit Southern Vixen’s blog in the last few days, they have seen this screen.  Apparently when someone complains to Blogger/Google about objectionable content on a blog, they shut it down while they decide whether the blogger in question has violated the Terms of Use Agreement.

But that’s not really the point.  The point of this post is seeing Southern Vixen half-nekkid!

She e-mailed myself and a few others last Thursday, grumbling about not being able to post her HNT for the week.  So I replied that if she wanted, she could guest on my blog.

Without further ado, 4 days late, but better late than never, Southern Vixen’s HNT!

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I have had trouble with trust in the past. I have been burned and, consequently, I have been hesitant to let myself go. I have recently been more trusting with people…a little bit at a time, and it feels good. I’m still hesitant, but I’m getting there.

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“I Can’t Trust Myself (Loving You)” – J. Mayer

No I’m not the (wo)man I used to be lately
See, you met me at an interesting time
If my past is any sign of your future
You should be warned before I let you inside

Hold on to whatever you find baby
Hold on to whatever will get you through
Hold on to whatever you find baby
I don’t trust myself with loving you

I will beg my way into your garden
I will break my way out when it rains
Just to get back to the place where I started
So I can want you back all over again

Here are Osbasso’s rules and other folks gettin’ nekkid!

And see if you can find me here

(this week, it’s pretty easy)

Photography Help and Advice

I’ve expresseed an interest to Veronica in learning how to take full advantage of the features of my digital camera and of Photoshop.  Now I don’t have a digital SLR (which I’d love to have…), only an “advanced” point and shoot, a Kodak Z1012IS, which is what we take all of our HNT pictures with.  And I have Photoshop, but it’s version 5.5, which is quite old.

Knowing my interest, and being the subject of many of the pictures I take, Veronica found some courses for me through a continuing education center for adults, one in digital photography and one in Adobe Photoshop CS3.

What I wonder is if I’ll be wasting my time and money taking either or both of these classes, considering the camera and software I have?

What other software do my fellow bloggers use and what do you think of them?  I’ve downloaded and used Gimp some, especially for selective colorization, but reflexively keep going back to Photoshop.  And there are online tools, such as the one my guest editor used for my HNT 2 weeks ago.  But I’m generally ignorant of what else is out there.

But you really know what I need?  A guest photographer.  I really want to capture images like this one, but do you have any idea how difficult that is with a self-timer and tripod?  Believe me, I’ve tried!

Anyone good with a camera want to volunteer?

You could start tonight