Outstanding Supporter of Letters to Leathernecks
This weeks question, like last weeks, comes courtesy of April:
Before my husband and I were married, we had a lot of trouble finding other couples. No one wanted to be with us if we weren’t married. After we got married it was easier to find couples who were willing. But the problem we faced after that was finding other attractive couples who were in our age range (mid 20’s – early 30’s) as we were in our mid 20’s. We found that most of the couples were in their 40’s and up, which doesn’t surprise me. I think it takes someone who’s had more experience in life and relationships to be comfortable in that situation. Of course there are exceptions, like me, but it was really hard to find. Have you noticed a lot of younger couples (20’s) in the scene? Not that you aren’t young. =)
First of all, thanks for not calling us old 
We’ve played with one “younger” couple, Ned and Ann and that was probably our single worst experience in the lifestyle. Veronica and I have both mentioned them before, but the whole story was told on our old invite-only blog. I went back to the archive file and pulled up those posts and have added a new page. Click on “The Tale of Ned and Ann” above for the story.
Veronica: Its also an excellent lesson on communication.
I think that April is correct in that there aren’t as many younger people in the lifestyle. But being the evidence-based geek that I am, I logged onto our favorite website and searched for a couple seeking a couple within 25 miles of our zip code. In the 20-29 age group there were just 3 couples, 30-39 there were 41 couples, 40-49 there were 61 couples and in the 50-59 age group there were 11 couples. [I realize that restricting both halves of the couple to a certain age group excludes a couple where one is 39 and the other is 41, for example.]
It does seem to be a middle-aged person activity!
Veronica: I think that the lifestyle skews older because when people are in their 20’s they may not be in a committed relationship. While a single woman is always welcome in the lifestyle a single man is not. I have also learned from chatting with couples at parties that many people drop in and out of the lifestyle, usually taking a break when the kids are in their tweens and teens due to time constraints and not having a place to host.
As far as the married vs. not phenonenon that April mentioned, I think that, unfairly or not, there is a bias towards married couples. Of course, we can’t speak for anyone else, but we prefer married [or at least long-time couples] because we can be reasonably sure that they are secure in their relationship. While a ‘newer’ couple can be secure, just like a long-time couple can not be secure, we think the odds of avoiding drama are better with a married couple. Have we mentioned that we dislike drama?
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We have one question for next week and then we’re out! Do you have generally questions about the lifestyle? Something specific for Veronica and/or I? Leave your question in the comments section or e-mail me at hubman38 at gmail dot com.
