TMI Tuesday #193 and Ramblings

First of all, thanks to everyone who commented on my Marriage and Infidelity and Swing Shift Vol 1 posts the last two days.  Reading the comments, clearly what was written struck a cord with some of you and was informative for others.  What I really appreciated was the give-and-take between readers in the comments section.  As long as readers are respectfully of others opinions and are not nasty or mean-spirited with their comments, I welcome that sort of discussion.

In the spirit of imitation being the sincerest form of flattery, my comment policy is shamelessly stolen from the same as Dana’s:

• comments are not pre-moderated and I welcome all thoughts- supportive, critical, whatever.
• anything abusive or threatening, off-topic, or is a personal attack will be deleted.

If you make a comment and don’t see it here, it’s because in my opinion it violated one of the above guidelines and I deleted it.  And for the record, I’ve never had to do so, and I hope that doesn’t change.

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What the hell is it with people on Craigslist?  Veronica and I have used it successfully in the past to sell various unwanted items- Princess Persistents old crib, a TV, a mattress and box-spring, and other misc items we don’t want or need anymore.  What bugs me is the person who says “I’ll be over to buy (insert item name) this evening” and then they don’t show up.  Which happened to me last night.  Veronica was at DBs karate class and brought PP along with her.  It was a beautiful evening (for a change) and I would have loved to go for a bike ride, but I was expecting someone to come to the house.  Did they show up?  No.  And to think that I told 5 other interested buyers that this jerk had first dibs.

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On to this weeks questions.  Oh wait, for some reason there aren’t any posted yet. [UPDATE: scroll down for TMI] If something gets posted later today maybe I’ll find the time to come back and edit.  In the meanwhile, here is a picture of Veronica leaning to look out the kitchen window and check out today’s weather.  Really, I have no idea how her dress got like that

 

1. How many speeding tickets have you had? Accidents?

Let’s see, counting, counting…   6 tickets that I can recall.  Unfortunately, 3 of them came within 18 months of each other, and NY State law dictated an automatic-don’t-even-think-about-appealing 6 month revocation of my license.  Good thing I was in college at the time- not being able to drive wasn’t too big of a hardship.  1 accident- I rear ended someone in Boston traffic- no damage to his car, but I couldn’t say the same about my hood and grille

2. Boxers, briefs or commando?

Calvin Klein microfiber trunks.  Occasionally commando

3. Have you ever had sex in your office or your place of employment?

Oh yeah.  And in Veronica’s office too.  But not in my present office- I think I need to rectify that.

4. Do you or your SO own a motorcycle? Do you ever ride one? Do you wear a helmet when you ride?

I do own one!  Go back to sometime in March and there is an HNT with me and my motorcycle.  I ALWAYS wear a helmet.  Even if it wasn’t the law in MA, as a husband and father it’s the responsible thing to do.

5. Ever been skinny dipping?

I’m afraid not.  Something else to put on the to-do list!

Bonus: Ever been arrested? Turned someone in/had someone arrested?

No and No.

Swing Shift Vol 1

Last week I announced that Veronica and I would be starting a [hopefully] weekly column about participating in the swinging lifestyle and solicited your questions.   For those of you who either e-mailed me or left comments, I’ll get to yours in due time.   BTW, thanks to the always Sexy Sadie for suggesting the column title!  And I’m always happy to have more questions, so don’t be shy! This weeks questions comes from a reader who e-mailed me, asking to stay anonymous:

In the world of swinging..How are couples who are married to others but playing together viewed?  Is this something that should be talked about?  Is it necessary to include this information?  My initial thought is that it is important information that needs to be shared.

Reading this question, I thought of my blogger friend Wayward Wife.  Her blog is invite-only, which is why I’m not linking to her.  She is a married woman who is having an affair with another man, whom she participates in the lifestyle with.  I sent her this question [maintaining the questioners anonymity] and asked for her point of view.  Here is what she had to say:

If you are a couple that is married, but not to each other, or one of you is married and the other single, my best advice for you would be to not bring it up with anyone you swing with. There is a perception that swingers look down on cheaters, but I don’t have any experience with this in real life because my boyfriend and I (I am married, he is not) don’t reveal this information to people when we meet them in a swingers situation.

To be honest, we are rarely asked about our marital status when we meet people in real life at a club or event. Usually people just assume we are married and we don’t dissuade them of that notion or they just assume we are dating, which we are, in our own way.

On lifestyle websites, we are sometimes asked as part of the “get to know you” chatting that takes place with a woman or another couple, and we have a stock answer that we use for this situation, which also works well if anyone asks at a club. We tell them that we met on a swingers site about a year ago, and have been together ever since. If you substitute “married but dating website” for “swingers site” you pretty much have the truth, so it is an easy lie to stick with.

There is no way for anyone to prove that you are married or not. Some women or couples want to swing with other couples in more established relationships — ie, they want people to have been married for a few years, as opposed to just together for one year. If you encounter a couple like this, just move on, there are more fish in the sea, right?

The other issue with swinging as a non-married/cheating couple is a timing issue. Many women or couples want to get together on a Friday or Saturday night, when it is hard for cheaters to get away. We’ve solved this issue by telling people (if needed) that one of us often works nights, so are they free to meet on a Wednesday evening instead? As with the situation above, we move on if this doesn’t work out.

Now, the issue of where to fuck might be an issue if both members of the couple are married to other people. (f one is single, you use their pad, of course.) If that isn’t an option, coming up with an excuse as to why you have to go to the house of the couple you are meeting instead of your place (big angry dogs?) might work. Or, if you have an on premise club in your area you can go to, that solves that issue.

Veronica and I have not met any couples that we know to be in a situation like Wayward Wife’s, which is why I asked for her opinion.  To be honest, I think Veronica and I would avoid getting involved with a couple that is married, but not too each other.   Our preference is not just couples who are married, but who have kids as well.  Let’s face it, kids pose unique challenges to anyone’s social life, naughty-minded or not.  We’ve legitimately had to re-schedule or cancel dates because of kid-related issues.  It’s our contention, proven correct by the infamous Ned and Ann, that other parents are more understanding than non-parents.  It’s simply an issue of practicality for us.

Perhaps this appears hypocritical to some of you, based on my post yesterday about Veronica and I sleeping with married women in the past and willing to do so again.  So why not a married woman and her boyfriend? It’s not so much an ethical issue as it is a drama-avoidance tactic.  Getting together with a couple where one or both of them is cheating is inherently more risky that sleeping with a married woman.  So to answer the original question, Veronica and I would like to know, if only because we would want avoid that situation. However,

I know that Wayward Wife and her boyfriend have had some difficulty finding other partners.  I wonder if other swingers have figured out their situation and avoid them, as cute as she is. [I've met her, trust me...]  Seriously, I think that hiding the fact that the couple was married but not to each other would be pretty difficult and all of the excuses about times and places would raise red flags.  It probably would for us.

You’ll notice that none of our reasons for avoiding an adulterous couple are ethical.  I know that some of you think that the “they’re gonna cheat anyway” excuse is a bunch of B.S.  But it’s true, like it or not.

Yes, we’re quite possibly big ole stinkin’ hypocrites.  Go ahead and point it out, I won’t argue with you.

(Veronica: Hubman covered this so well that I do not have anything to add.  However I will be participating more in the weeks to cum.  Also, if you have a question where you really would prefer a woman’s perspective, please make sure and let us know.)

Marriage and Infidelity

I don’t recall ever publishing a post that intentional portrays another blogger negatively, so I suppose there is a first time for everything, though I’m not going to name the blogger or link to the post that inspired these thoughts.

Men and women cheat on their spouses, that is certainly no secret.  Hell, I once cheated on Veronica, and she and I have had threesomes with 3 different women, all of whom are married.  So admittedly this post is a bit of the pot calling the kettle black.

But what I don’t understand is why someone would enter into a marriage without ever intending to be faithful.  If you PLAN on cheating on your spouse, do both of yourselves a favor and don’t get married!

I realize that with the passage of years, people change, desires wax and wane, whatever.  There are all sorts of reasons why someone might choose to seek the pleasure of another without their spouses consent, and I don’t want this to read as a carte blanche condemnation of infidelity.  [For the record, in my mind what Veronica and I do as swingers is not cheating.  Consent= not cheating.] I’ll be even more of a hypocrite and state that given the opportunity, Veronica and I would happily see any of the married women we’ve played with again.

Wanna hear my justification?  Two of them are in marriages that are headed to divorce court one of these days, marriage infidelity having nothing [or maybe just a little] to do with it.  The third has made repeated attempts to confront the lack of sexual satisfaction in her marriage, to no avail.  So she’s looking for satisfaction elsewhere.  In short, each of these women TRIED to be faithful, for YEARS.  This other blogger isn’t even trying.

If you believe that you’re incapable of monogamy, at least be honest with your spouse or future spouse and find a partner who feels the same way.  Don’t deceive them into thinking that you’re going to theirs forever when you have no intention of ever doing so.  That’s just wrong.

Come back tomorrow for the first installment of whatever I’m going to call my question and answer series.  First up, a question from a reader who wished to remain anonymous about…  infidelity and swinging.

Veronica Loves Strippers

The following is a series of actual text messages between Veronica and I earlier this week:

Veronica: I want a strip club trip. Should I get a sitter for Thursday?

Me: Sure why not?

Veronica: Yay boobies

Veronica: I had fun with my brother and his girlfriend last night.  She is SO bi.  Too bad she is fucking my brother

Me: Oh yeah?

Veronica: Yeah.  She was drooling over some chick in the bar and then they were arguing touch and taste issues in fake boobies.  Next time they come up she wants us to take her to our favorite strip club

Me: Maybe if he messes it up with her she’d like to fuck us

Veronica: Too squicky. But he told me her sister is hot too maybe I should meet her

Veronica: There will be nookie tonight.  Ask one of the sitters about Thursday night

Me: There better be nookie ~~~  I’ll ask.  What time do you think?

Veronica: Dunno.  Is it boobies only or dinner and boobies

Me: Let’s do dinner too.  6:30?

Veronica: works for me! A romantic evening.  You me and some strippers

Veronica and I had a lovely evening out.  We even made friends with a stripper (surprise!) who gave us her schedule.  Unfortunately, we had to go relieve the sitter and didn’t get a chance to get a dance from the stripper.  But Veronica said it’s cool with her if I go back this weekend to see her myself!  She and the kids are in NY, leaving me all by my lonesome this weekend…

At one point, we’re sitting in the club, admiring the girls and comparing notes on who we like and don’t like, when I remind Veronica that this time last year she would have needed 2 or 3 drinks before she even had the courage to go to the stage rail to tip a dancer, much less have sex with another woman.

Me: Now look, 1 year later, and how much pussy have you eaten?

Veronica: Not nearly enough!

Does anyone need further evidence that she’s the perfect wife?

Hope everyone’s having a great weekend!

Rendezvous- Her Turn

Back in late April I wrote Parts I and II of “Rendezvous”.  To be honest, I had kinda forgotten about coming back to finish the story.  And then the other day I received an e-mail, from the blogger friend who I wrote those pieces for.  Here is what she wrote:

I masturbated 3 times on Sunday and came REALLY HARD all three times.  The last time I imagined myself on my hands and knees on the bed, facing a mirror (yes, I like to watch) so that I could see my face, my breasts hanging down, swaying with the rhythm of you fucking me from behind.

As I imagine your cock sliding in and out of me I also imagine your face.  At times your eyes are closed as you just go quiet and enjoy the sensation of your bone being clenched tight and stroked firmly in my pussy.  You are grunting a little and I love to hear that.

At times your eyes are open and you are looking at me in the mirror.  Our eyes meet and we look at each other as you say sweet but naughty things to me.  I love it when you talk to me.  I love to hear you tell me what you want, tell me what you want to do to me, tell me how good it feels, how I drive you crazy.

You bend over me, laying your chest against my back.  You grab my tits and then go deeper into me, thrusting in hard, filling me up all the way until I yelp.  Then, you nuzzle my neck and say “I want to work my cock into your ass.”
I can barely speak I am so aroused, I have relaxed completely, I can feel that I am nearing the edge.  I groan in response but say “no, not yet,” and you growl a little.  You’re disappointed.  I say “oh, Sweetie, sorry” and then yelp again as you drive your cock into me again, slow, deep, but hard.  “Mmmmmmm” I say.  “My dildo is on the nightstand.  Try that.  I want you to be in both my holes.”

You seem content with that, and you reach to the bedside table for the dildo and lube sitting there.  “Lost of lube, baby.”  I say, and then feel the cool wet drops hit my rosebud, and then feel your fingers caressing me, working it in.

“Oh God, baby, that feel s’good.”  I wiggle with delight.  I’m losing my ability to form words and when you work just the tip of the silver vibe into my asshole I simply resort to moans.  Damn.  I love that feeling.  But, before you slide it all the way in you take it out again.

“Ok Kitten, I’m going to put my dick back in you now, and then I’m going to put this all the way in your ass.”

“Mmmm-hmmmm,” I agree, nodding my head against the bedspread because my chest and head are all the way lowered now, with just my ass up in the air, my pussy spread for you.

And then you tease my slit a bit with your fat head.  And then you tease my rosebud a bit with your fat head.  I love the feeling of your soft skin in contrast to the cool tip of the dildo.  I do want your cock in my ass, but I want to be ready.  I want you to be able to slide in slowly, and for it to feel tight, but not too painful.

You hold your head firm against my asshole and then in one smooth move you slide down, to my pussy, never breaking contact, and slide right in as I hiss with pleasure.  Once you are buried in me you thrust in and out gently a few times, and then place the head of the dildo against my ass and start to work it in.

First, just the tip, getting me open.

And then, slowly, oh so slowly, you begin to slide it into me.  I feel like I could lose consciousness it feels so good, each inch going deeper until I am filled.  Both pussy and ass.  You begin to work your tools in tandem.  Your cock thrusting into me at the same time as your hand slides the dildo into me, over and over, slowly at first and then I say “faster” and you pick up speed.  I can feel it rising, that wave deep inside, starting at my pussy, unfurling out into my body, and I’m coming, I’m coming, I’m screaming – it feels so good, I feel so thoroughly fucked, my body convulsing madly.  Oh fuck.  It lasts forever, but you keep me filled, prolonging the ecstasy.

Then after what seems like a long time of lying on the bed in a coma, you lying next to me, stroking my back and all the way down over my cheeks, I recover from what you just did to me and roll over.

“Did you cum?”  I ask.

“No.”

“Good.” I say, and roll you to your back and mount you.  “I can definitely keep going.”

I guess it’s my turn to write.  Thanks, my anonymous friend, for this little fantasy and for inspiring me to return to this tale.  Check back next Friday…

HNT What I Did On My Vacation

I’ve been slacking off on a well deserved vacation all week. One thing my job does not allow is much in the way of facial hair, hence my normally clean-shaven look.  But this week, because I could, I let it grow out some.

*click-click to see what else

I’ve done a bit of this week*

Unfortunately, Veronica isn’t a fan of facial hair on me, so it’s gone already, even though I’m still on vacation.

Veronica has found a way to incorporate ‘tossing a salad’ into her Alphabet HNT series, which sounds vaguely dirty if you ask me.  And if that doesn’t get you to visit her, I’m afraid nothing will!

Visit Osbasso to see who else is getting more-or-less half-nekkid this week.  If you are, you’re commenting there, right? How else are we supposed to find you?  And don’t forget to check out The Other HNT for some NSFW nekkidness.

Can’t Shake the Images

Walking out of the restaurant, admiring her lean legs and the way her dress accentuates her beautiful figure.  Resting my hand on her hip on the way to the car, feeling the waistband of what is certainly a thong.

The way she looks when my cock is in her mouth.

The satisfied smile as she pulls back from taking me as deep as she can.

The way this forty-something mom sounds so young and sweet and innocent as I slip inside her.

The trim, strong runners legs, flat tummy and oh-s0-sexy ass.  Never mind her breasts, oh my…

But the image I can’t get out of my mind is the position and view that has made me cum every single time I’m with her.  Those strong legs on my shoulders, my body weight pining her to the floor.  Looking down between our legs, seeing my cock pistoning in and out of her as my climax nears.  My gaze drifting upwards, past her sexy mid-section, those fabulous breasts, finally focusing in on her pretty face, the happy and contented smile, looking right into her eyes, as we cum together.

Is it any wonder that I’m looking forward to seeing her again?  Whenever that may be…

It’s a good thing that her husband and Veronica get along so well, too!

Happy Hump Day!

This is where I grumble…

You’ve been warned…

First of all, the weather.  I’m on vacation this week, as Darling Boy is out of school but summer camp doesn’t start until next week.  But, if it rains any more I’m gonna start building an ark.  This is ridiculous.  And it’s not just my perception- there was an article in the Boston Globe today that pointed out that we have already had more rain this month than the normal monthly average, and there are still 7 days left in the month.

The average % sunshine from sunrise to sunset for June is 55%.  This year? A whopping 32% so far this month.

I didn’t think I’d be a risk for seasonal affective disorder when I was on vacation for the first week of summer!

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This morning Veronica got a phone call from her mom.  An old childhood friend and neighbor of Veronica’s died over the weekend.  He had cystic fibrosis, so while his death was tragic, especially considering that he left behind a wife and infant child, he actually led an fairly long life.  In the 80’s the life expectancy for someone with CF was only about 14 yrs.

Veronica can home from work, threw some stuff in a bag and DB and I drove her to the Amtrak station in Providence and she caught the Acela to Penn Station in NYC.  From there she caught a train out to Long Island, had dinner with her parents and went to the wake this evening.  I’m happy she was able to go and pay her respects to her old friend and his family.

The part I’m grumbling about?  She’s spending the night at her brothers place in Manhattan.  And they’re heading out on the town to go bar hopping.  I’m jealous

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Thanks for putting up my grumbling.  Here’s a picture of Veronica posing for me as she was getting dressed this morning.  I hate being apart from that ass!

TMI Tuesday and My First Blog Award!

Check out that button over there on the right!  The fabulous Hope sent me that as her way of showing her thanks for some stuff I’ve done to support her work to provide support to American men and women deployed to Iraq and Afghanistan.  Click here and here for examples and here to learn more about just what she does.

You really didn’t need to thank me, Hope, it’s my pleasure to do my part!

And you may have noticed that the other banner is gone.  I agreed to put up that banner in return for that website listing me in their directory of swingers with blogs, but after over a month and they still hadn’t listed me, I deleted their banner.  It wasn’t that important anyway.

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Thanks for the positive feedback on my post yesterday suggesting some sort of “Ask the swingers” column.  I’m going to try and make it a regular feature on every Monday.  If you have any questions, don’t be shy!  And if you are shy, you can ask that I keep your identity anonymous.

Also, even if you’re not interested in actually participating in the lifestyle but have some questions purely out of curiosity, I’m still more than happy to answer your questions.

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On to this weeks TMI questions…

1. Would you stay in a loveless relationship for the amazing sex?

Hell no!  Not that I’ve ever been in one, but it takes more than amazing sex to sustain a relationship.

2. If you could only have one, which would you choose: love that lasts forever or great, body numbing sex

Love that lasts forever.  Someday, physiology will fail all of us and sex will become less, well, good.  That’s just the way it goes, IMHO, but love will still be there.

Good lord I sound like such a romantic this week.  What the fuck’s up with me?  lol…

Wait, now I’m re-reading the question and wondering if the great, body numbing sex is just once or for a lifetime.  Shit, I might have to reconsider!

3. Looking back at your past loves, which one should you have married/taken back and who should you have tossed earlier than you did?

Never really had a past love, seeing as how I was 20 and Veronica was 18 when we met.  There was one serious girlfriend in high school, but I know better now.

4. If you had one last fuck in you where, how and who would you “give it” to?

Well obviously it would be with Veronica!  Duh!

Hopefully it will be in old age, in our bed.  While I’d like to think it will be passionate and energetic, if I live as long as I hope, it’ll be creaky and ugly to watch!  Let’s face it, who’d want to watch some old, wrinkly people bumpin’ uglies?

5. Which is more important, sex, money, love or happiness? (and no, you can’t pick’em all)

Love, because love begets sex AND happiness, in my opinion.  So there, I picked one but found a way to get 3.  As for money, oh well…

Happy TMI!!

Now Open For Business!

For whatever reason, some of you out there in the blogosphere seem to think that Veronica and I have some experience in the lifestyle and can be helpful.  In the past several months, no less than 8-10 individuals have contacted us privately, seeking advice about the lifestyle.  Which is perhaps ironic, since as we were getting involved in the lifestyle ourselves we relied heavily on the advice of our dear friend SwingerWife, to the point that we were texting back and forth with her as we were driving to our very first ‘date’ with another couple.  We’ve benefitted greatly from not only her advice, but from a host of other people who we’ve met in the lifestyle and have helped us out along the way.

I guess the myriad of lifestyle websites are too impersonal or something.  Maybe knowing that we’re ‘real’ people, who have had our fair share of struggles, successes, conflicts, amazing experiences, and mis-communications holds some appeal.

We’d like to think that any advice we’ve given has been helpful, or at least not harmful, so I think it’s time for “Hubman and Veronica’s Swinger’s Advice Service” to open for business!

And the first order of business will be to come up with a better name, because that one sucks…

The only acceptable form of payment will be nekkid pictures.  That or sexual favors

Seriously, stealing from the regular “Ask the Hot Dads” column that I contribute too [new post up on Monday, by the way...], I think I might start a semi-regular feature where I take readers questions, anonymously if desired, and answer them in a post.  What do you think, would you be interested?  I think we owe it to the people that have helped us to in turn help others, if possible.  Veronica would give her perspective as well, of course.

Communication issues.  Performance anxiety.  How to write a good profile on a website.  What are parties really like.  Avoiding jealousy. Full- or soft-swap, and what’s the difference anyway?  Safe sex concerns.  Nothing would be off-limits, no concern too big or too small.

So leave a comment or e-mail me [address on the left in the "About me..." section] and leave me your questions.  If you’d prefer that we keep your identity anonymous, just say so.  And if you have a question and would prefer we don’t write a post about it, we’d still be more than happy to answer it anyway.

Darling Boy in a few more years-

Have a good Monday!  I know I will, I’m on vacation