Happy Mothers Day

In honor of Mothers Day…

MOTHERS
Real Mothers don’t eat quiche;
They don’t have time to make it.

Real Mothers know that their kitchen utensils
Are probably in the sandbox.

Real Mothers often have sticky floors,
Filthy ovens and happy kids.

Real Mothers know that dried play dough
Doesn’t come out of carpets.

Real Mothers don’t want to know what
The vacuum just sucked up.

Real Mothers sometimes ask ‘Why me?’
And get their answer when a little
Voice says, ‘Because I love you best..’

Real Mothers know that a child’s growth
Is not measured by height or years or grade…
It is marked by the progression of Mommy to Mom to Mother…

The Images of Mother
4 YEARS OF AGE – My Mommy can do anything!
8 YEARS OF AGE – My Mom knows a lot! A whole lot!
12 YEARS OF AGE – My Mother doesn’t really know quite everything.
14 YEARS OF AGE – Naturally, Mother doesn’t know that, either.
16 YEARS OF AGE – Mother? She’s hopelessly old-fashioned.
18 YEARS OF AGE – That old woman? She’s way out of date!
25 YEARS OF AGE – Well, she might know a little bit about it!
35 YEARS OF AGE – Before we decide, let’s get Mom’s opinion.
45 YEARS OF AGE – Wonder what Mom would have thought about i t?
65 YEARS OF AGE – Wish I could talk it over with Mom.

The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure
she carries, or the way she combs her hair.
The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes,
Because that is the doorway to her heart,
The place where love resides.
The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole,
But true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul.
It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she
Shows, and the beauty of a woman with passing years only grows!WHY GOD MADE MOTHERS

Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:

Why did God make mothers?
1. She’s the only one who knows where the sticky tape is.

2. Mostly to clean the house.

3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did  God make mothers?
1. He used  dirt, just like for the rest of us.

2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.

3. God made my Mum just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

What  ingredients are mothers made of ?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.

2. They had to get their start from mens’ bones.  Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did  God give you your mother and not some other mother?
1. We’re related.

2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people’s Mums like me.

What  kind of little girl was your Mum?
1. My Mum has always  been my Mum and none of that other stuff.

2. I don’t know because I wasn’t there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.

3. They say she used to be nice.

What did  Mom need to know about Dad before she married him?
1. His last  name.

2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook?  Does he get drunk on beer?

3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your Mom marry your Dad?
1. My Dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.

2. She got too  old to do anything else with him.

3. My Grandma says that Mom didn’t have her thinking cap on.

Who’s the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn’t want  to be boss, but she has to because Dad’s such an idiot.

2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.

3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than Dad.

What’s the difference between Moms & Dads?
1. Moms work at work and work at home and Dads just go to work at work.

2. Moms know  how to talk to teachers without scaring them.

3. Dads are taller & stronger, but Moms have all the real power ’cause that’s who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend’s.

4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better  without medicine.

What does your Mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers  don’t have spare time.

2. To hear her talk, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your Mom perfect?
1. On the inside she’s already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic  surgery.

2. You know, her hair. I’d dye it, maybe blue.

If you  could change one thing about your Mom, what would it be?
1. She has  this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I’d get rid of  that.

2. I’d make my Mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.

3. I would like her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

To all of the moms reading, Happy Mothers Day!

I KNEW she’d do it!

She showed Veronica her tits!!!!

Okay, I suppose that you’re wondering what the hell I’m talking about.  Yesterday Veronica visited her aesthetician for her regularly scheduled Brazilian waxing.  And Brit showed Veronica her tits!

A little history…

Around a year or so ago, the ladies where making small talk while Brit was doing her thing and they somehow got on the subject of strip clubs, which lead Brit to telling Veronica her personal favorite.  Which has become our personal favorite, btw.  So we got the idea that Brit likes the ladies.  Being the typical male, I got excited at the idea.  At this time, Veronica and I had done nothing but start going to strip clubs together, and her first girl-girl kiss was still in her future.  Oh, and I’ve seen Brit and know full well just how freakin’ hot she is.

Fast forward to this past January or so.  Veronica is back there again, and somehow the ladies got on to the subject of boob jobs.  Brit shares that she has had hers done, but wasn’t happy with the placement (over muscle vs. under) or the size (she’s a C, wants bigger) and is looking into getting them redone.  Veronica shares that she’s thinking about getting hers done someday.

Veronica gets home later that day and recounts the conversation they had.  So I’m a guy (duh!) and ask “Did you get to see her tits?”  She didn’t even ask!  I can’t remember for the life of me, and can’t be bothered to look, but I think one of us commented about this on our blog around the time that it happened.  Anyway, I’m dumbfounded that she didn’t even think about asking!  Veronica: I didn’t want to run the risk of embarrassing her.  If I am going to not make one person uncomfortable on any given day, the woman holding a stick of hot wax above my crotch is going to be that person.

I maintain that Veronica had the perfect opportunity to ask to see Brit’s boobs.  After all, we have a strong suspicion at this time that she’s girl-friendly.  Plus, Veronica could easily ask to see them under the guise of learning about different implant types, how the incisions healed, etc.  You know, research   Veronica: It does get me some extra touching at the strip clubs.

Before Veronica went to see her yesterday, I reminded her I bet that Brit would show her boobs if asked.  Besides, since the last time Veronica saw her, she might have had them re-done, giving her another reason to ask.

So not only did Veronica ask and Brit showed, but get this- after Brit showed her lovely C cup boobs with nice brown nipples [Veronica gave me a very detailed description!] they talked about 3somes and swinging!  Brit has never done either but basically confirmed that she is familiar with a woman’s touch.  Brit is going to be appearing in a fitness competition in a few weeks and we’re going to attend to cheer her on.  And maybe we’ll invite her to a party someday…

Veronica: My plan is to take it slowly.  Once again, I don’t want things to become uncomfortable between us.  I got very lucky finding someone I like and trust to do my Brazilians on the 1st try and I don’t want to have to find another person.

Of course, we’ll let you know if anything develops!

Hope y’all have a good weekend!   We have Dina and Derek joining us for an overnight visit Saturday night, so I know we will

Sorry, but not that sorry

One year ago today I knocked on a hotel room door and paid a woman for sex.  I’m not going to recount that story again, click here if you want to read the story.

Which brings me to the title of this post- Yes, I’m sorry that I cheated on Veronica.  I hurt her deeply and could have done irreparable harm to our marriage.  I’ll never forget how terrible I felt when she shoved me off her and wept openly the first time we tried to make love after she confronted me.  How could I have done that to her? How utterly stupid of me.

But after many hours of heart-to-heart talks and maybe more than a few tears, we got through it and now, a year later, our marriage and sex life is better than ever.  Which is why I’m not that sorry.

Part of what we talked about was desires, both hers and mine, and what we wanted to do to fulfill them.  It started with her posting an ad on Adult FriendFinder for a woman for herself.  Sometime in August she had her first date with another woman.  It went nowhere, but I can remember hanging out in the yard that Sunday afternoon and relaying updates that Veronica was sending me to our (then new) friend M.  Veronica and M had struck up a friendship, and M was still struggling to come to terms with her husband’s affair.  M politely asked Veronica if I wouldn’t mind talking with her about what I had done, and I soon found myself having a brutally honest chat with M, telling her about what I did, why, and how Veronica and I were working our way through it together.  I’m very happy to say that M became a very good friend, a friendship which continues to this day.  We love you, M!

Which leads me to the first reason why I’m not sorry- you, our fellow bloggers.

Veronica had started her blog in October 2007 on a whim.  Around this time last year she started reading more, particularly infidelity blogs, including the now-defunct Philosophy of Infidelity, written by Titus, who became a friend and confidante of Veronica’s.  A number of those blogs, perhaps ironically, helped her understand the cheating mind.  She also discovered the fun of HNT around then and the realm of blogs she read expanded.  I started to read as well during the course of the summer and then started my original blog in September.  Starting with comments left on blogs, we’ve developed a number of good friendships.  Our lives are enriched because of Southern Vixen, SwingerWife, M, Dana, Amorous Rocker, Emmy, Garbonzo, Jennybean and others, some of whom would rather be left un-named, some that I might have forgotten.

Intertwined with blogging is swinging, and the other reason I’m not that sorry.  We’ve had some extremely memorable experiences, some of which we never even wrote about.  And if anything, sex with others had made sex between just the two of us all the more special.  I’m convinced that if I did not knock on that door, Veronica and I would not be in the happy place we are now.  Yes, it was painful at times, but you know what?  Looking back, knowing what I do now, I would do it again.

It’s been a year, time to lay my cheating past to rest.  Never again will I write about that on my blog.  It’s history.

HNT Retro Edition

First a note- For some reason, none of the links to the other bloggers who wrote about their first times worked yesterday and I didn’t realize it until sometime in the evening.  The link to Errant Wife at the top is good and she listed everyone, so if you missed the others, go to her first.  Sorry about that

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It’s the first Thursday of the month, which means it’s retro HNT time!  So no actual nekkidness this week…

On Sunday I published a post anticipating what my day might be like as I rode in the Five Boro Bike Tour of NYC.  Little did I know that when the weather channel predicted 60% chance of showers, what they meant was 100% chance of showers all fucking day long!  I took the Long Island Railroad into the city, carried my bike up the steps from Penn Station to 7th Avenue, stood there for a moment getting my bearings, and felt the first rain drop.  And it never really stopped all day. Thank God for Gortex water repellent outer-wear!

This is the podium where the opening ceremony took place.  We’re on Church St and about 1/2 mile down the street behind me is Ground Zero, were the new Freedom Tower to replace the World Trade Center is being built.  Even 8 yrs later, there is a solemn, almost reverential feel to the area.  From the top floor of my high school on LI, on a clear day, I could see the NYC skyline, dominated by the WTC, in the distance.  Fourteen people from my hometown died on 9/11.  I’ve been back to the city only a few times since then, but being around Ground Zero always affects me, and not necessarily in a good way.

Riding down the Brooklyn-Queens Expressway there are some pretty cool views of the lower Manhattan skyline

8 years ago the WTC would have been towering over all of the other buildings in the view below.

Did you try to *click* on any of the pictures?  There are some pictures of me, including what I was wearing under my Gortex

Veronica is up to the letter “M” in her Alphabet HNT series.  And don’t forget to see Osbasso and check out all of the other half-nekkidness this week!

My First Time

Last week The Errant Wife solicited readers who would be interested in helping her post something naughty every day for the month of May.  Aurore came up with the idea of posting about “My First Time”, so here we are.  Many long-time readers might know that I was a virgin when I met Veronica.  Here is the story, with a little background, about our first time having sex.  And since I still sleep with the woman I lost my virginity to, I’ve asked her to comment where she wants.

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Veronica and I met on September 29th, 1990, at a party.  I like to say that “My wife picked me up at a keg party!” and it’s true.  I was a junior in college, she was a sophomore who just transferred schools.  She had several lovers during her first year away at school, then fairly quickly had another one at our school.  A matter of days before the party, she had decided that she was going to give up on men for a little while.

Veronica: As a species, men were getting on my nerves.  I thought  taking a vow of celibacy for the rest of the semester would be a good idea.  Then I met Hubman.

Little did she know that she was going to meet moi!  And I was going to charm her pants off.  Or something like that…

We had a pleasant conversation [once I quit drinking for the night and started to sober up!], I walked her home and we kissed goodnight.  Veronica: Hubman also reached up my shirt and fondled my boobs. Over the next two weeks we hung out a lot, went on a few actual dates, and she gave me a blowjob or two.

Friday, October 12, 1990.  The previous weekend was Columbus Day and I went home to Long Island for the long weekend while she went back to her old school to visit some friends.  We had only been together for a week, but we missed each other already.  I don’t think we talked about it, but somehow we just knew we were going to sleep together soon.

I need to share a secret at this point- I had lied to Veronica about my past.  I was embarrassed, if not ashamed, that at 20 yrs old I was still a virgin.  So I lied and told her that I had sex a couple of times with a girlfriend in high school.  I made sure that in the lie it was just a few times, and a couple of years ago, in case I was bad in bed.

[By the way, several months later, I confessed my lie to her.  She was pissed at first, but ultimately I think she was touched that I cared enough to come clean about my history.]

Veronica: I admit I was initially upset about the lie, but if I had known the truth I would have made him wait longer before we had sex since I think you should be in love with the person you lose your virginity to and Hubman and I were not in love at the time.

On several occasions already she stayed pretty late at my off-campus apartment, and while I was more than happy to walk her back to her dorm room on campus at 1:00am, I had other ideas.  So I invited her to stay at my place that Friday night.  We met up sometime mid-afternoon and went back to my place, that I shared with 4 other guys.  It was too soon to go out to dinner, so we hung out in my room.

Veronica: When Hubman invited me to spend the night I knew we were going to do the deed.

And it just happened.  We were making out, taking off clothes, playing with each other.

Looking back, neither of us can remember what words or thoughts were said leading up to the first time Veronica and I had sex.  I do remember sliding into her for the very first time and having 2 distinct thoughts: “Finally!” and “Damn, this feels good!!!”   This is what I’ve been missing?  I should I tried harder!

Veronica: Hubman was fabulous! I remember cuming loudly during our first.  Hubman had me so primed that during our between-nookie dinner break I had a small orgasm during dinner thinking of the nookie to cum later that evening.

In fact, it was so good, we had sex 3 more times that day!

I was going to try to write this as a piece of erotica, but to be honest, it’s been so damn long since that day that any details would just be the product of my imagination.  I even asked Veronica to help me clarify some details and little miss I-never-forget-anything, but to no avail.

Veronica: I remembered a BUNCH of details Mister!

We’ve been together ever since.  While our adventures in the last year have found us with a number of other lovers, some of whom read this blog and are special friends AND lovers to Veronica and I, if we dropped out of the lifestyle tomorrow and I spend the rest of my life having sex with no one but Veronica, someday I will die an extremely happy man, spending my last days with the woman I lost my virginity to.

Veronica: Even though Hubman was not my first, and despite the initial plan when we got married he has also not been my last, but he is the best I’ve had and my soulmate.  I am a lucky woman.

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A number of other bloggers are also writing about their first times today.  You can visit Aurore, Andy, Bdenied, Topaz, Library Vixen, Enchanted Mistress, Dutchess, Petal, Lionia, Autumn, Southern Girl, and Errant Wife herself, to read about their first times.

TMI Tuesday 185

Veronica and I had dinner with a new couple on Friday night.  We are now in the [perhaps enviable] position of having not only Dina and Derek still interested in us [even after having sex with us!  bwahaha...], but there are also 2 other couples we’ve had dinner with.  The chemistry is undeniably there with both couples and we’d like to see each of them again.

But juggling 3 couples at once seems a bit, umm, overly ambitious, to say the least.  I think we’re going to have to politely back away from one of the two couples we’ve only had dinner with at this point.

Oh, did I mention that the couple we went out with last weekend are also bloggers?  Well, he is, and she’s posted on his blog once or twice.  And they read our blogs.

This could be very, very interesting…

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The wonderful folks who publish the questions each week are looking for contributors so if you have any ideas, let them know by clicking here and also to see who else is playing this week.  On to the questions…

1. Have you ever bought a membership to a porn site? If yes, what is the most recent one and did you like it?

Oh yeah, numerous ones over the years.  I renewed my membership to Redclouds last fall.  Good amateur stuff.  Voyeurweb is the free, non-explicit section.  Since I’ve been a member on and off [more on than off...] for more than a few years, I guess you could say I like it!  But now that I think about it, I don’t visit it very often.  Maybe I won’t renew it next time it’s due.

2. Would you rather watch a erotic/porn movie, read a story, or listen to an audio? Why?

I’m a very visual kind of person.  Give me a movie any day.  Not that I don’t like stories or audio, but movies do it for me if I’m going solo.

3. If you have a significant other what do you do for each other to get in the mood? If you don’t what would you kind of thing could a future potential long term partner do to get you in the mood?

Well, Veronica that slut [love you, baby!] is always in the mood, so I really don’t have to do anything…

Seriously, flirtation and foreplay is an all-day event with us.  Scroll down to yesterdays post for an example.  If she’s not in the mood, simple kissing and gentle massaging usually does the trick.

4. When it comes to sex, how much do you talk about it with others? How comfortable are you talking about sex?

In real life, much less than you might expect.  That’s one of things I love about the interweb and my blog.  I’m more comfortable talking about sex here.  That’s not to say that we haven’t had some surprisingly candid conversations with couples we’ve just met, but the swinging lifestyle isn’t exactly the norm, is it?

5. What are the last 5 things you searched for on Google (or another search engine)?

Hmm…

BYO Swingsets- I needed to order a belt swing to replace Princess Persistent’s bucket swing that she’s outgrown

National Masturbation Month- needed a link for my post last Saturday

StatTracker- wanted to check it out after someone recommended it

“Perpetual Calendar”- needed to look up dates for tomorrows post

“Merriam-Webster”- who needs a paper dictionary any more?

At least, that’s what’s in the search history on this computer.  We have a second laptop at home plus there is my work computer.

Bonus: Have you ever had a fantasy that you were ashamed of?

I don’t think so…

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Did you send your boobs or moobs in for Tits for Troops?  You didn’t?  Why the heck not?  Veronica and I did, as we always do!  Go check it out.

Veronica the Tease

Every morning Veronica teases me with what she is wearing to work that day.  One thing is always a given- there is a nice matching bra and thong underneath  her outfit.  Many days I leave for work before she’s dressed, so she’ll usually text me to let me know “cranberry” or “leopard print” or “basic black”.  Sometimes she’ll even text me a picture.  Like this one she sent me not too long ago…

Much less often, I’ll still be home when she gets dressed.  I have a particular weakness for how Veronica looks in one of her wrap dresses.  The way it shows some cleavage, how it clings to her hips when she walks.  I love knowing that there are a bunch of people in her building checking her out during the the day and saying “Damn!” when she’s wearing one of those dresses.

One morning I was home later than usual and she was already dressed, so I asked her to do a little strut and flash down the hallway while I grabbed the camera.  Doesn’t she look nice?

*click-click*

[I have a short video of her walking down the hallway away from me, and she lifts her dress to flash me her ass and she does a little hip wiggle too.  It's really cute and hot at the same time.  BUT, for some reason WordPress does not support uploading Quicktime movies, which is the format my digital camera uses.  Any suggestions?  I promise to post it if someone can help me out!]

Crazy Day

[Written Saturday morning and scheduled to post Sunday morning.  I'll be at my sisters in NY and won't have internet access for most of the weekend.]

Saturday night I hope to be meeting up with some old high school friends that I literally have not seen since we graduated in 1988.  Who knows how late we’ll be out and how much I might drink.  And then this is what my Sunday is going to be like:

4:45 AM  Wake up

5:20 AM Catch Long Island Railroad into Penn Station, bringing my bicycle with me

6:00 AM Arrive at Penn Station, ride my bike ~5 miles to Battery Park

7:00 AM Line up in queue for the Five Boro Bike Tour

8:00 AM Start the following 42 mile route:

Depending on crowds and riding conditions, actual pedaling time should be about 2.5-3 hrs.  When I last participated in this ride in 2003, however, I spent almost 5 total hrs on my bike, due to traffic congestion.  Registration is capped at 30,000 riders and the pace vehicles up front go no more than 15 mph, which limits how fast I can travel.  So who knows when I’ll finish!

Ride ~3 miles from end of ride to Staten Island Ferry Terminal, take ferry back to Battery Park

Ride ~5 miles from Battery Park back to Penn Station

Take LIRR back to the Island, drive to my sisters house, shower and eat.  Maybe even visit with her some.

Drive 3 hours back to Boston area.

You think I’ll be tired when I get home?

The best part, as of 8:00 AM Saturday morning, there is a 60% chance of rain during the ride, with high temperatures only in the low 60s.  Oh, joy, a cool rain to ride in.  Good thing I own good Gortex bike-specific jacket and pants, sounds like I’m gonna need ‘em!

Coincidence?

Yesterday afternoon I started my weekend early and got home around 2pm.  I knew that a friend of mine was home alone, as she had taken the day off from work.  She and I chat online quite a bit, but circumstances [time zones, kids] usually conspire against webcam fun, so I saw an opportunity presenting itself.  And it wouldn’t be our first time

We took advantage of the opportunity and I jerked off to a very satisfying release while she played with her big tits, talked dirty to me, and showed me some of her nJoy toys and told me how she and her husband use them.  [Told, not showed, Aunt Flo issues...]

Later in the day I e-mailed her: Just so you know, I just learned that May is national masturbation month.  Thanks for helping me celebrate.  I enjoyed doing that for you

She replied:  just saw that myself!  That is too funny!  I’m glad you enjoyed it.  I did too.  In fact, I need a cold shower just thinking about it!  Maybe next time, we can enjoy it together.  I mean, May is a long month.  I can give you a demo of the toys.

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The Sexy Runners [a blogging and swinging couple that lives regretably far away...] posted this yesterday and I couldn’t help but steal it because it made me smile.  Well, I didn’t really steal it, since I e-mailed him and he’s cool with my re-posting it…

Horray Horray
It’s the First of May
Outdoor Fucking
Begins Today

Drop Your Drawers
Lay In the Grass
It’s Time to Enjoy
A Nice Piece of Ass

Don’t Be Shy
Whip Out Your Dick
Just Like a Popsicle
She’ll Give It a Lick

Trim the Bush
Don’t Be a Wussy
Make Sure It’s Wet
When You Get to the Pussy

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Hope ya’ll enjoy your weekend!