Happy Mothers Day

In honor of Mothers Day…

MOTHERS
Real Mothers don’t eat quiche;
They don’t have time to make it.

Real Mothers know that their kitchen utensils
Are probably in the sandbox.

Real Mothers often have sticky floors,
Filthy ovens and happy kids.

Real Mothers know that dried play dough
Doesn’t come out of carpets.

Real Mothers don’t want to know what
The vacuum just sucked up.

Real Mothers sometimes ask ‘Why me?’
And get their answer when a little
Voice says, ‘Because I love you best..’

Real Mothers know that a child’s growth
Is not measured by height or years or grade…
It is marked by the progression of Mommy to Mom to Mother…

The Images of Mother
4 YEARS OF AGE – My Mommy can do anything!
8 YEARS OF AGE – My Mom knows a lot! A whole lot!
12 YEARS OF AGE – My Mother doesn’t really know quite everything.
14 YEARS OF AGE – Naturally, Mother doesn’t know that, either.
16 YEARS OF AGE – Mother? She’s hopelessly old-fashioned.
18 YEARS OF AGE – That old woman? She’s way out of date!
25 YEARS OF AGE – Well, she might know a little bit about it!
35 YEARS OF AGE – Before we decide, let’s get Mom’s opinion.
45 YEARS OF AGE – Wonder what Mom would have thought about i t?
65 YEARS OF AGE – Wish I could talk it over with Mom.

The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure
she carries, or the way she combs her hair.
The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes,
Because that is the doorway to her heart,
The place where love resides.
The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole,
But true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul.
It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she
Shows, and the beauty of a woman with passing years only grows!WHY GOD MADE MOTHERS

Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:

Why did God make mothers?
1. She’s the only one who knows where the sticky tape is.

2. Mostly to clean the house.

3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did  God make mothers?
1. He used  dirt, just like for the rest of us.

2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.

3. God made my Mum just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

What  ingredients are mothers made of ?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.

2. They had to get their start from mens’ bones.  Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did  God give you your mother and not some other mother?
1. We’re related.

2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people’s Mums like me.

What  kind of little girl was your Mum?
1. My Mum has always  been my Mum and none of that other stuff.

2. I don’t know because I wasn’t there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.

3. They say she used to be nice.

What did  Mom need to know about Dad before she married him?
1. His last  name.

2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook?  Does he get drunk on beer?

3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your Mom marry your Dad?
1. My Dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.

2. She got too  old to do anything else with him.

3. My Grandma says that Mom didn’t have her thinking cap on.

Who’s the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn’t want  to be boss, but she has to because Dad’s such an idiot.

2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.

3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than Dad.

What’s the difference between Moms & Dads?
1. Moms work at work and work at home and Dads just go to work at work.

2. Moms know  how to talk to teachers without scaring them.

3. Dads are taller & stronger, but Moms have all the real power ’cause that’s who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend’s.

4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better  without medicine.

What does your Mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers  don’t have spare time.

2. To hear her talk, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your Mom perfect?
1. On the inside she’s already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic  surgery.

2. You know, her hair. I’d dye it, maybe blue.

If you  could change one thing about your Mom, what would it be?
1. She has  this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I’d get rid of  that.

2. I’d make my Mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.

3. I would like her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

To all of the moms reading, Happy Mothers Day!

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