Thanks Easter Bunny!

Veronica and I had a date last night, but it doesn’t feel quite right talking about tales of debauchery an evening with Dina and Derek on Easter Sunday.  I’ll properly introduce them some other time

All I can say is “Thanks Easter Bunny!”

Honey-do-me list

Hubman’s Saturday chore list:

• Vacuum house
• Spot clean carpets with steam cleaner (between the kids and the damn dog…)
• Sweep kitchen and hallway floors
• Generally clean up around the house
• Check the condom supply
• Check the lube supply
• Clean sheets on the bed
• Manscaping

[Whatever the antonym is of Veronica's Urban Dictionary contribution "Vanilla Prep", that's what I'm doing!]

Why?  Because we have a date tonight!  A couple is coming over for dinner and…

What, you think I’d do all this crap just for Veronica?  Bwahahahahaha!

I think Veronica mentioned Dina, the female half of the couple, in her contribution to Communication Breakdown.

I’ll leave you with this snippet of a chat I had with Dina on Wednesday evening, as an indicator of things to cum:

Dina: so what do you guys propose for Saturday night….???????
Hubman: you really want to know what I’m hoping for?
Dina: sure…lol
Hubman: lets just say it involves 4 people on a bed and clothes on the floor
Dina: be more specific…lmao
Hubman: nah….  don’t want to set up any expectations. lets just see how things go
Dina: well, I am hoping we laugh, get buzzed, fuck the hell outof each other, (all of us)
Hubman: sounds good to me!
Dina: and afterglow on the bed in a big sweaty heap

So you think Veronica and I might be having a little fun Saturday night!?!?

My Celebrity Look-a-likes

Ever wonder what I look like?  Well wonder no more!  Here are my celebrity look-a-likes, according to the folks at My Heritage.

Dana did this not too long ago and I filed it away in the mental rolodex for the day I wanted to post something but was feeling kind of lazy.  Like today…

First off, who is Trent Ford?  Never heard of him.

And I don’t see that much similarity between any of these five.  But anytime I’m favorably compared to Mark Harmon or Val Kilmer, I’m happy.

OK friends, those of you who’ve seen my face, what do you think?  Do I really have at least a passing resemblance to any of these men?  If not, who would you say I look like?

—————————————————————————————————————————————————-

I’ve been bad about replying to comments.  I stay off WordPress at work, so that makes it hard, but I promise to do better.  If you take the time to comment, the least I can do is reply!

Have a good weekend!  Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do! *gigglesnort*

HNT Play Ball!

When I was about 9 years old, I was playing baseball with a bunch of neighborhood friends in a local park.   We were using a real baseball, but of course we did not have any protective equipment .  The bases were probably jackets and sweatshirts and foul territory was delineated by trees and such.

I was the catcher and the kid pitching threw one in, which the batter foul-tipped.  Right over the top of my glove.  Smacking me in the face, right between the eyes.  The next thing I know I’m lying on the ground looking at a beautiful blue summer sky and my face felt wet.  My nose was broken.  Fuck that hurt.

Two years later, my parents signed me up for Little League.  First game, smack, I get hit by a pitch on the arm.

Can’t imagine why [hahaha] but I was always shy at the plate after that.  And I never played organized baseball again [though I've played more than my fair share of beer league softball!].

But I’ve always enjoyed the game, either on TV or in person, major or minor leagues.  So in honor of the opening of baseball season this week, I present my bat and balls *wink*

What, you were expecting something else?  You can *clickity-click* but don’t say I didn’t warn you!

Veronica continues her alphabet theme with the letter “I” this week, so make sure you say hi to my lovely wife!

And of course, don’t forget to visit Osbasso and see who else is getting nekkid this week!

Eden Fantasys and Misc

I received the following e-mail the other day:

Hello,

I was just looking through your blog and I feel that you would be a great fit for our Affiliate Program at edenfantasys.com Eden Fantasys is one of the largest online adult toy retailers. http://www.edenfantasys.com/programs.

If you are interested in using your blog to earn some extra money through our Affiliate Program, review adult toys, or even work together in hosting contests, giveaways or promotions please let me know. I will be happy to answer any questions that you might have. I have included brief program summaries at the bottom of this e-mail.

Me?  Really?  Do these guys have any idea just how few visitors I get on a daily basis?  If they’re seriously trying to get more sales, I think they could do a lot better than me!

But I am thinking about it!  If anything, the prospect of free toys may make it worthwhile.  We’ll see…

—————————————————————————————————————————————————-

Veronica and I joined a different swingers website over the weekend.

This one is interesting- it allows you to include your instant messenger username in your contact info, which greatly facilitates contacting a couple you may be interested in.  Of course, with the good comes the bad [or ugly, as the case may be...] and contact from couples we have NO interest in.  Oh well.

Like other lifestyle websites, there are options for public and private photo galleries.  For those of you familiar with Ashley Madison, I suppose it’s similar to giving someone a passkey to see pictures.

But what is it with couples who are hundreds if not thousands of miles away giving us access to their private galleries?  We’ve had couples in NY, Michigan, Ohio and Florida give us access.  WTF?

Have we made any connections yet?

You’ll just have to wait…

—————————————————————————————————————————————————

As I’m writing this post, Veronica gets home from the gym.

I got spanked!

Say what?  It turns out that she did a kick boxing class and during the class there was some “exercise” where you smack your own ass.  Apparently Veronica’s self-spanking did not meet the instructors approval, so she came over to “demonstrate” for her.  Which led to Veronica declaring

Any place where there is a hot aerobics instructor who smacks me on the ass is a place I want to be!

Me too!

Happy Hump Day!

TMI Tuesday and Oops…

Veronica took the kids to have portraits taken on occasion of Princess Persistents upcoming birthday and I picked up the prints a week ago Friday.  During the weekend I scanned them into the computer, with the intention of e-mailing them to family.  While I was at it, I sent an e-mail with some of the pics to a few select blogger friends that we know particularly well.

When we were out on our date Friday night [yes, a full week after I picked up the portraits], Veronica asks “You sent those pictures to our parents, right?”

Umm….

No, dear.  I forgot

She follows up by asking if I posted them to our clean blog.  [We recently created a family-oriented blog for sharing stuff with friends and family.  We even created new Google profiles to go with it, so there is no link possible link between that blog and this one or Another Suburban Mom.]

Umm….

No, dear.  I forgot

Needless to say, I’ve taken care of it now!

—————————————————————————————————————————————————

More questions from a guest contributor this week!

1. Have you ever had a sexual experience with the opposite sex?

Haven’t most of us?  Is there a typo here?  Seems like a kinda silly question to me.

[NOTE: I saw that the author of this week's questions commented on Ms. I's blog, and said that the question should have read "the same sex."  And the answer would be no.]

2. When you see someone you like, how do you act, how do you get their attention?

For Veronica and I, it’s usually a profile of another couple we saw online.  So we’ll find something in their description about themselves and send them a message and hope they reply.  At parties, flirting and eye contact usually works

3. Dominate or dominated, which do you prefer?

Dominate, though I’m intrigued by the idea of giving up control and being someone’s fuck-toy.

4. Would you/ Have you ever had a threesome?

Oh hell yes!  Threesomes are fan-fucking-tastic!  In fact, if all goes well on Thursday, perhaps I’ll have something to write about soon…

5. When was the last time you had sex?

As I write this (10:50pm Monday night), about 30 minutes ago.  Hehe

6. Sex on the first date…good or bad?

As a general rule, Veronica and I prefer NOT to have sex on the first date with another couple.  We’re easy, but not that easy.  Well, sometimes we are….  So I have to say “Good”!

7. Do you have any random or out of the ordinary turn-ons?

I’d like to think I’m pretty normal.  Though some of you who are mystified by the whole ‘sharing my wife with others’ thing may be mystified by that…

Considering that this week marks the opening of the baseball season, this quote seems appropriate:

Well, I believe in the soul, the cock, the pussy, the small of a woman’s back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days.

Anyone get the reference?

8. What attributes attract you to a potential partner.

Big tits, no gag reflex and a stomach you could bounce a quarter off of.

OK, seriously…

As far as physical attributes, I don’t think I really have a type and find a large variety of women attractive.  But personality?  If you can’t laugh or you take yourself too seriously, have a nice day. You’re a complainer, have a dour outlook on life, frown more than you smile?  Don’t let the door hit you on the ass.

—————————————————————————————————————————————————-

Don’t forget to visit Tits for Troops!  Veronica and I are showing our boobs and moobs again.  Don’t be shy, especially all you HNTers, send Vixen your boob pics.  She even makes it easy on you.  A few weeks ago I sent her a half dozen pics of each of us and she just keeps posting them until they’re gone, then she’ll let me know when she posted the last of them so I can send more.

Going Solo

In a manner of speaking…

I have an unexpected morning at home, waiting for a delivery that requires one of us to be here.  Do I putter around the house?  Clean something?  Do some laundry?  Nah, not today, I’m gonna sit back, surf the web and see who pops up on chat.

At work, all instant messenger programs are blocked, so chatting during the day is a rare treat.  Before I know it, I’m juggling 3 chats.  The delivery men show up, so I end my chats and deal with the delivery.  Fifteen minutes later, they’re done and gone, but it’s still early and I could easily stay home for another hour before heading to the office.  Sure, I have work to do, lots of it, but what the hell…

I resume chatting with one of my friends and suggest something…

Her: well, [daughter] isn’t up yet – so she could disrupt any fun, but if you’re willing to risk it….
Hubman: it’s not me taking any risk, so not for me to say, up to you
Her: we could do a few minutes at least
just be forewarned that we could be interrupted
Hubman: understood!
still there? i switched from google talk to gmail chat
Her: yep,  still here
Hubman: good, and i moved downstairs
Her: ahh
Hubman: so the computer isn’t on my lap

You know why I wanted the laptop off my lap, right?

The chat record ends there, since I invited her to video chat.  You know one of things I love about Google chat with video?  How reliable the audio channel is, plus my laptop has a built-in microphone.

So my hands are free.

She’s in her bedroom, sitting on the edge of her bed.  I see her face and upper chest, bare.

Are you naked?

Yes I am

Stand up, let me see

Her bare chest comes into view, breasts hanging heavily, nipples large and erect.  My cock starts stirring in my pants and then she sits down, looking at me again.

You’re having an effect on me.  You want to see?

What do you think?

I unbutton my pants and push them and my underwear down around my ankles without fully standing up, so she can tell what I’ve done, but she can’t see anything yet.  She can see my arm moving, unmistakably stroking my cock.  I stand up and redirect the webcam, giving her a clear view of my hand sliding up and down my shaft.  After a few moments I sit back down and ask her “You like what you see?”

Oh yes.  Do I get to see more?

As long as you still have the time?  She does, so I resume, but not before first telling her “play with your tits for me”

She appears more than happy to comply and starts running her fingers over her large areola, stroking her nipples, lifting her breasts and pushing them together…

I was just going to give her a little show and then stop, but now…

Would you like to see me finish?

Oh yeah, I’d like that very much.

I stand back up and start stroking myself a little faster, sometimes using both hands together.  I glance down at the monitor and see her continuing to play with her tits and staring at the screen.  Faster now, feeling my orgasm building, gripping a little tighter, stroking a little faster still, my breath quickening.  Getting close, so close, oh my god here I cum…

My breathing is a little ragged as my orgasm subsides.  I look down to see her grinning in appreciation and can’t help but notice the puddle of cum on the desk.  I sit down and look at her.

Well, that was unexpected.  I need to get a paper towel to clean up

Oh, really?

Yes, would you like to see?

I would!

I angle the webcam down at the desk surface, showing her the result of my play.

Oh wow

Oh wow?  It’s not that much!  We make small talk for a few more minutes, but then realize we need to get about our respective mornings.  I have to get to the office and she needs to attend to her now-awake daughter [she's in a different time zone...].

Maybe next time we can involve our spouses!  They’re gonna feel left out!

—————————————————————————————————————————————————-

For some non-sex writing, I’m up at Hot Dads today with some thoughts on fathers and sons.

Last Wednesday I mentioned that I was closing in on 1000 comments and offered to do something for whoever was the unlucky victim commenter.  Southern Girl‘s comment on 50 sexting acronyms was it!  Two things made me happy about this- it wasn’t someone who already knows me well, but it was someone who comments fairly regularly.  So what did she ask for and what did I do for her?  None of your business

Communication Breakdown

Most of the time Veronica and I do very well at reading each others moods and sensing when something is amiss.

Work has been stressful lately.  You know those times when for every item you get off the almighty to-do list, 2 more appear?  Yeah, that’s been my life at work lately.

Veronica has also been very busy and stressed at work.  This coming week will be the first one this year where she won’t have an evening meeting.  Hell, twice this past week we got into bed, looked at each other, and said “Nah, I’d rather go to sleep.”  [I know, cry you a river...  For us, that's highly unusual.]  Combine all this, and neither of us was at the top of our games, so to speak, communication-wise.

Part of what has been bugging me is a lack of communication with others and an absence of play on the swinging front.  Sure, we’ve had a date or two and some fun webcam play with a couple [whom we haven't written about yet.  If and when something physical happens with them, then I'll write something!], but for the most parts everything has been a waste of time.  Finding playmates was starting to become a chore and I was seriously ready to take a break.  Plus, we haven’t seen Sarah in ages.  Every time plans get made, they get canceled.  Yes, every time is completely understandable and we know full well it’s not personal, but still, it gets frustrating.

But I didn’t want to talk to Veronica about any of this.  And therein lies the problem.

I was afraid to bring it up, because it’s all about sex with other women.  Would she think that I’m obsessing over others and not thinking as much about her?  That finding and fucking other women has become more important than our own sex life?

So I kept my thoughts to myself.  Which is a dangerous thing.  When something is bugging me, I benefit greatly from sharing my thoughts and talking it out.  Just getting to vent helps.  To compound it, a very close and dear blog friend, who would understand what I’m talking about, was one of the people I couldn’t reach, at least when I needed it the most.  But that’s the nature of our blog friendships for many of us.  We all have jobs, families, friends, many of whom may have no idea about our blogs.  So sometimes that person may not be able to reply to that text message or voicemail, because they can’t.  I lost sight of that.

The same applies to others in the lifestyle.  Family, work, whatever, gets in the way and you go for a few days without checking that e-mail account and can’t take that phonecall at that time.  Again, I lost sight of that.

Veronica:  The week was stressful for me as well.  Did you know that the windshield wipers on a car has a transmission?  I did not know that either until mine broke and cost $400 to repair.  Monday I spent about 4 hours dealing with an employee that was throwing around ‘hostile work environment’ and ‘harassment’.   I get home and we celebrate PP’s birthday.  The kids are asleep and ’24′ is over and I invite Hubman to naughtiness in the bedroom.  He tells me that he is tired.  No problem, and off to sleep we go.  As we are settling in, he mentions that he is concerned that Dina who is part of the couple we recently cammed with, is not into him.  I tell him that I don’t think that is the case and I promise to call her tomorrow to verify.

Tuesday comes and Hubman and I are at work.   I give Dina a call and leave a message.   I call her again on the way home from my evening meeting and leave a message.  I also call Sarah as well and leave a message.  The kids are asleep when I get home and start to vigorously kiss Hubman hello.  He pulls away with a grunt and starts to stare at the computer.  “Well welcome home to me!”  I think.  I go into the kitchen and put away the salad stuff I picked up.  He and I go off to bed.  We chat a little about his frustrations and She likes it rough followed.

Hubman goes to sleep, and I do too with a smile thinking, “Bad mood dissolved, mission accomplished.”

Wednesday came.  Hubman was still edgy.  I was befuddled.  We had very hot sex last night.  I fed him a tasty dinner.  The house was a little messy but I have seen it a lot worse.  Why is he in a bad mood?  He asks, “Did you talk to Dina today?”  Motherfucker.  It’s them.  He’s in a mood because the ladies have not been returning his calls.  I tell him I did not and that I would call once I got everything cleaned up from dinner.  I called Dina and spent the rest of the night restless, pacing the house tidying and praying for the phone to ring.  These efforts exhausted me and I was too tired to break in our new mattress that night.

Thursday comes.  Hubman is a little edgy but not bad.  We go to bed and break in our new mattress, yet I feel that he is distracted.  Afterwards we talk.  He complains about the people and I go into fixer mode.  I suggest that we try another website and focus our energy on parties.  He informs me that he does not like our profile name.  I am getting really cranky now.  I have been spending the week trying to get to the bottom of his bad mood and dissolve it.  And while I usually don’t mind, this week is one of the few times I do not have the patience for this.  My week has been long and extremely stressful with no reprieve in sight. Hubman and I chat and plot some more  and with a solid action plan in place he feels better and goes to sleep.  Later I fall into a restless, fitfull sleep.

It’s now Friday.  I am exhausted having been up at 5am the day before and not asleep before midnight that night.  I am raw and irritable.  Even though Hubman has not expressly said that the lack of communication from the ladies this week was the cause of his continuing angst, I knew that it was.  But I did not want to broach the subject with him as I did not want to cause him to get into a bad mood. I was feeling tentative yet irritated.  I can see being irritable because of work,  or the house looked like it required an intervention from FEMA, but to be irritable all week because some women he wanted to fuck weren’t calling us back really annoyed me.  Is he that desperate to fuck other women?

Hubman is in a better mood and does not seem to notice my masked angst as he heads to work.  My mood has not improved. I yell at the kids and by the time I get to work I am exhausted and literally on my last nerve.  Thankfully my boss started his weekend early so I did as well so I could take a nap.

Refreshed and relaxed my mood was improved and I was intent on enjoying the evening.

To be honest, when I asked Veronica to add her thoughts to this post, I did not expect a complete recap of the week.  But she wrote it, so there it is. One thing that did bother me was she did not acknowledge that she too has been frustrated about the lack of play with others.  She even wrote about it last week.  I pointed that omission out and she said “Oops, forget to mention that.”  It wasn’t just me who was getting frustrated!

While my mood was influenced by a number of factors, only one of which was other women in our life, from her perspective, that was the only reason.  Part of the reason she didn’t know about the other stressors in my life this week is because I knew how stressful her week was, so I held back.  If I hadn’t done so, she would have a better perspective on what was bothering me.

Friday night we had a date.  Just the two us, doing what we used to do before swinging, going out for a nice peaceful dinner without the kids [OK, not so peaceful, with the damn waitstaff singing happy birthday to not 1, not 2, but 3 different customers while we were there!], a little time at our favorite strip club and some hot sex when we got home.

No sooner than we pulled away from the house did we start talking, clearing the air.  It was exactly what we needed, just 2 or 3 days late.  Not too late, because no harm was done, but we could have both saved ourselves a little emotional turmoil and angst if one of us initiated a conversation earlier.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, communication is the most important thing for a couple in the lifestyle.  This past week Veronica and I forgot that.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————-

Epilogue:  We had a great date night and lots of fun at the club.  We both got lap dances from the same gorgeous blonde [Veronica and she even played with each others tits!], during the drive home I finger-fucked her to orgasm, she blew me for a bit while I was driving on the interstate, and we had fantastic sex once we got home!

With it rains, it pours, with potential playmates. Just before we left for our date, Dina popped up on Yahoo Messenger to say hi and apologize for not getting back to us all week.  Then on Saturday Veronica confirmed a date with Sarah for one day this week!

All is well 

Too twisted not to share

I love the show South Park, though I haven’t watched it in a while.  I just came across this clip for this weeks show and just couldn’t resist sharing

I think I might have to come up with a list of favorite Cartman quotes on of these days….

Hope you’re all [or "y'all", depending where you're from...] having a good weekend!

She likes it rough

[Astute readers may notice that Veronica likes dirty talk, really dirty talk, on occasion, and especially during anal sex.  Recently she invited me to pull her hair some during sex, which is something we've never really done before.  The following encounter was our goodbye to our 10 yr old mattress combined with some boundary pushing...]

I’ve been stressed lately.  I never seem to make headway on the almighty to-do list at work.  Little crap around the house has been bugging me.  Potential playmates and misc friends have been irritating me.  The night before, I was so tired, I turned down sex.  Veronica, god bless her, notices my mood and takes charge.

Come into the bedroom and lay down

I strip down to my trunks and collapse face down on the bed.  She grabs the lotion and starts to give me a massage, the smell of the sugar cookie scent filling the room and helping to relax away some of my stress as we chat about what’s been bothering me.  I roll over so she can continue on the front of my body.  She is wearing nothing more than a button down shirt and a thong.

Is there any surprise that my mood is changing?

I need to take my mind off things.  I think it’s best if I concentrate on sucking your cock for a while…

She pulls my trunks off and takes my semi-hard cock deep into her mouth.

You know how you talk dirty when you’re fucking my ass?  Can you do that while I blow you?

Yeah, you little cocksucker, you like me deep in your mouth, don’t you?  I bet you’d like it if I cum in your mouth tonight.  You’re my little cum-drinking slut, aren’t you?

Oh my god, I don’t know what’s wetter, my mouth or my cunt!

Stop talking.  If you’re talking you’re not sucking my cock.

Grab my hair, control me, fuck my face

I bunch her hair up, fashioning 2 pigtails of sorts and keep a firm grasp so I can control her head.  I thrust up, forcing my cock to the back of her mouth, making her gag a little. With each thrust of my hips I keep her from pulling back, sometimes keeping my cock buried in her mouth, making her eyes water.

I push her up so that she’s kneeling on the bed.  I sit up and pull down her thong, then shove her over onto her back.  Almost on instinct, she lifts her legs, so I grab her calves and put them on my shoulders.  A few strokes along her glistening slit, then I push, hard.

Ooooohhhhhhhh….  I’m just your little fuck toy tonight

Damn right you are!  Finesse be damned, I’m just using her cunt to get myself off tonight.  I pound her pussy, feeling my cock strike her cervix with each thrust.

Get on your knees.  It’s not a request, it’s a demand.

She complies, quickly.  I lick 2 fingers and push them in her dripping cunt, feeling how open she is. I push my cock back inside and fuck her, hard.  Then, without warning, I smack her ass, hard.  Her skin tingles and she grunts.  She doesn’t protest, so I smack her ass again.  And again. And again.

Oh my god, I love it, it feels like your cock is in my stomach!  I’m yours to do whatever you want with…

Whatever I want?  She knows what I’m referring too…

Well, whatever you want, with my pussy.

Hands on her hips, I’m in control, setting the pace, controlling the depth.  Fine, you don’t want my cock in your ass, I’ve got something else for you.  I bring a hand to my mouth, generously coating a finger with spit, then bring it to her ass.  She yields, easily, and I fully insert my finger in her ass, feeling my cock through the thin layers of tissue between them.  My finger firmly in place, I resume fucking her.

Are you going to cum in my mouth tonight?

Damn right I am.  You’re going to lay back with your mouth open and take my load.

A few more moments and I feel my orgasm building and pull out.  Veronica flips over onto her back, tilting her back and offering her open mouth as a target.  I cum, one spurt, oops I missed, two, three spurts of cum, shooting into her mouth.

She reaches up and grabs my hips pulling me closer to her, taking my twitching cock into her mouth.

Oh yeah, suck every last drop of cum out of me and swallow it all.

She works her lips up and down my shaft, savoring our combined juices on me, making me gasp and moan in pleasure as she practically over-stimulates me.  My orgasm subsiding, Veronica falls back onto the pillow, smiling up at me.  I lie down next to her and kiss her, gently.

I love you, Veronica.  That was perfect.

I love you too.  Glad I could help your mood!

She cuddles up to me, resting her head on my chest, drapping an arm across my torso.  I couldn’t be happier and don’t have a care in the world.