50 Sexting Acronyms and a Prize, of sorts

Sometime between now and Thursday I’ll most likely get my 1000th comment!  This isn’t something I keep track of, btw, it’s just one of the stats WordPress automatically generates.  As many readers as I get on a daily basis [or as few, depending on your perspective...] I really appreciate each and every one of you who takes the time to leave a comment.

I was thinking I would like to do something special for whoever that 1000th commenter is.  I have no idea what, though.  Any suggestions?  Perhaps I’ll let the winner ask for something…

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Monday evening I was surfing the ‘net and wandered over to GorillaMask, which is really nothing more than a daily collection of links to other crap online, like random porn, stupid videos, lists, whatever.  Great way to kill time.

So anyway, I come across a link for the top 50 sexting acronyms and thought “Hey, that would make a great post!”

Fast forward to this morning and the TMI questions for this week.  Would you look at that?  The first question is about sexting!  Here is the list of acronyms:

1. 8 – Oral sex
2. 1337 – Elite
3. 143 – I love you
4. 182 – I hate you
5. 459 – I love you
6. 1174 – Nude club
7. 420 – Marijuana
8. ADR – Address
9. ASL – Age/Sex/Location
10. banana – Penis
11. CD9 – Code 9 – it means parents are around
12. DUM – Do You Masturbate?
13. DUSL – Do You Scream Loud?
14. FB – Fuck Buddy
15. FMLTWIA – Fuck Me Like The Whore I Am
16. FOL – Fond of Leather
17. GNOC – Get Naked On Cam
18. GYPO – Get Your Pants Off
19. IAYM – I Am Your Master
20. IF/IB – In the Front -or- In the Back
21. IIT – Is It Tight?
22. ILF/MD – I Love Female/Male Dominance
23. IMEZRU – I Am Easy, Are You?
24. IWSN – I Want Sex Now
25. J/O – Jerking Off
26. KFY -or- K4Y – Kiss For You
27. kitty – Vagina
28. KPC – Keeping Parents Clueless
29. LMIRL – Let’s Meet In Real Life
30. MOOS – Member Of The Opposite Sex
31. MOSS – Member(s) Of The Same Sex
32. MorF – Male or Female
33. MOS – Mom Over Shoulder
34. MPFB – My Personal Fuck Buddy
35. NALOPKT – Not A Lot Of People Know That
36. NIFOC – Nude In Front Of The Computer
37. NMU – Not Much, You?
38. P911 – Parent Alert
39. PAL – Parents Are Listening
40. PAW – Parents Are Watching
41. PIR – Parent In Room
42. POS – Parent Over Shoulder -or- Piece Of Shit
43. PRON – Porn
44. Q2C – Quick To Cum
45. RU/18 – Are You Over 18?
46. RUH – Are You Horny?
47. S2R – Send To Receive
48. SorG – Straight or Gay
49. TDTM – Talk Dirty To Me
50. WYCM – Will You Call Me?

How are people supposed to know some of these, I wonder?  “RU/18″ is pretty simple to figure out, right?  But what about “143″ or “459″ for “I love you”?  I don’t get how one translates to the other.  What am I missing?

I think there are some important ones missing: SMYT, DUS, and WF, for example.

Ladies, I leave you with this:
RUH? IMEZRU? LMIRL and you can FMLTWIA.

TMI Tuesday and a New Law

In my neck of the woods you can’t miss radio ads for a new law, the so-called “Slow down, move over” law.  I was initially dumbfounded that such a law is even necessary, so imagine my surprise when I learned that 42 other states already have such a law!!  Here is ours:

New legislation in Massachusetts aims to make police, firefighters, paramedics, tow truck drivers, and all roadside emergency and maintenance professionals safer on the job. The Move Over Law, which takes effect March 22, 2009, requires drivers approaching a stationary emergency or maintenance vehicle with flashing lights to move to the next adjacent lane if it is safe to do so, and, barring that, to reduce their speed. Failure to comply could result in a fine of up to $100.

Every year, first responders across the country are injured or killed on the job while providing emergency help and, in the past six months, several Massachusetts state troopers and other first responders have been injured. All citizens are asked to move over to make Massachusetts roadways safer for everyone.

The official text of the bill can be found here.

On the one hand, why do we even need such a law?  Isn’t it common sense to give a little room to emergency vehicles and the like on the side of the road?  I know, I know, if only common sense was actually common…

But take a look at the details.  It specifies that drivers “must reduce the speed of the vehicle to that of a reasonable and safe speed for road conditions.”  So it leaves the definition of safe and reasonable open to interpretation.  In Taxachusetts Massachusetts that is just asking for abuse!

And expecting drivers to determine what is safe and reasonable?  They’re not called “Massholes” for a reason…

I’m interested in your thoughts on this law.

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On to the TMI!  Let ‘em know if you play too…

1. Have you ever sent or received a sext message?

Most definitely!  Veronica and I often exchange sext messages and I’ve been known to send and receive suggestive pictures to and from certain special friends!

2. Have you ever made or received a booty call?

I know Veronica said yes, but I’m not sure if counts when your married and it’s your spouse.  I also don’t think any of our swinging partners count.  I’ve never contacted someone late at night for the sole purpose of sex, so I’ll have to say no.

3. Have you ever added or edited a word/entry to Wikipedia or Urban Dictionary or any other online reference?

‘Fraid not..

4. At what age did you have your first consensual sexual experience?

We’ve been over this one before!  Oral at 16, intercourse at 20.

5. What has been the greatest age difference between you a consensual sexual partner?

Two and a half years older than me (that would be you, Southern Vixen!!) and, gulp, 13 years younger.  Maybe I’ll revisit the tale of Ned and Ann someday.  Or not.

Bonus (as in optional): Why do you blog?

Lots of reasons- it’s fun, it’s an outlet for my recently discovered exhibitionist side, I enjoy the creative writing challenge posed by telling stories, it’s part of how I intereact with friends I’ve made, because Veronica and I have learned a lot in the lifestyle and like to share our experiences.

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Don’t forgot to visit Tits for Troops today!  Veronica and I are both there.

And this week is the 3rd Anniversary of The Other HNT.  You have sent Osbasso your picture, right? Right?

Happy Birthday!!

[As if this isn't enough, Veronica is also writing about Princess Persistent today...]

Today is my little girls birthday! Which means you either have to read about her or move on.  I hope you’ll hang around…

Veronica and I chose to wait a while to have another child after Darling Boy was born.  We moved and I returned to grad school to start work on my Ph.D. when he was 3.  Before I ever applied to any schools, we discussed how the loss of my income and a full-time course load would affect the timing of having a second child, which we definitely wanted.  We decided that another child would have to wait until I was done with course work and had passed my comprehensive exam, which would likely be sometime during the 2005-06 academic year.  In the spring of 2005 Veronica went off the pill and we let nature take it’s course.

Thursday, March 30th, 2006.  Veronica awoke around 4:00am and knew exactly what was going on.  We started timing her contractions and knew we had some time before we had to go to the hospital.  We could literally see the hospital from our backyard, so if things really started to move along, I could get us there in a matter of minutes.

What to do about Darling Boy?  He was enrolled in a charter school for kindergarten, and the before-school care program started at 7am.  Our plan was to be there right at 7, drop him off then get to the hospital.  We’re in the parking lot at 6:55 when Mr. O, the principal, arrives.  I roll down the window and call to him “Veronica’s in labor.  Don’t worry, it’s not an emergency, yet, but can we leave DB with you a few minutes early?”  He readily agrees then Veronica and I take off for the hospital.

Anyone who knows Veronica won’t be surprised at all by what happens next…

Honey, can we stop to get something to eat?

She’s no dummy! She knew full well that once she got to the hospital they wouldn’t let her eat until our little girl was out.  But her contractions were getting closer and I didn’t want a baby in the front seat, so I vetoed the idea.

Barely 2 1/2 hours later and our little girl was born at 9:43am.

As with Darling Boy, we delight in watching her grow and develop.  Some days, like the day last week when she commented, in her little pip-squeak voice “Mommy, I’m too exhausted to go to daycare!”, she exasperates us.

Today Princess Persistent turns 3.  Just like DB, I can’t imagine my life without her and treasure every moment.

Happy Birthday PP!!!!!

Perceptions

What is it with you people?  Just how busy do you think Veronica and I are in the lifestyle?

[I mean that tongue-in-cheek.  I really don't care how busy you think we are...]

Looking at the Chat folder in my Gmail account, here are snippets from 3 of my last 5 chats, each with a different blogger friend who shall remain nameless:

Blogger friend 1, Friday afternoon: Any ‘naughty’ plans for the weekend?

Blogger friend 2, Saturday morning: So…riddle me this Hubman….   Just how is it that you keep all your ladies organized?

Blogger friend 3, also Saturday morning: Any plans for debauchery this weekend?

Really, I’m flattered (I think…) that there is the perception that Veronica and I are  out and about all the time.  Sure, we’ve had a few dates with other couples lately, but we haven’t gotten nekkid with anyone else in a month.

So here is what we did on Saturday night (besides draft this post): folded laundry, took a shower, gave the kids baths, downloaded GPS data from my bike ride earlier in the day, and had a small dish of ice cream.  About the naughtiest thing is that Veronica bought the full-fat instead of reduced-fat Breyers!!

Once the kids are asleep, though, everything changes.  Veronica has suggested a visit from one of her role play characters and getting out the sex swing, so we will be getting naughty in a little while, but just the 2 of us.  Oh, and we’ll have the camera handy, so perhaps we’ll share something another time…

Now about keeping track of “all my ladies”, I just have one word- spreadsheet!!!

Kidding, just kidding!

[Though I have thought about it ]

Seriously, except for the once-a-month or so swingers party or date leading to nekkidness, Veronica and I are just like any other married couple with young kids.  Between her blog and mine, I hope you’ve learned that about us.

Happy Happy Joy Joy!

Would you look at that?  Spring has sprung in New England!

I realize that yes, living in New England I really have no right to bitch about the weather.  As Veronica says, no complaining allowed from Thanksgiving through the first day of spring.

But after that, we’re entirely justified in complaining!

And before anyone comments, yes I realize that the flowerbeds look like shit.  Veronica and I plan on spending the afternoon in the yard with the kids and cleaning up the yard.  Of course, we’re not counting on much actual work from the kids.  But they’ll be outside playing instead of watching TV, so I won’t be complaining!!

Would you look at that sky?  It’s beautiful out!  And it’s gonna hit the mid-60s later today.

Once the yard work is done, off on my bike for a nice long ride!!

Hope everyone has a great weekend!

[Mandatory sex-related content: Sarah is not able to join us this evening.  So Veronica suggested a visit from Nina.  Who is Nina, you ask?  Why Nina is one of her alter egos, when Veronica is in the mood for a little role play.  Nina is a MILF interested in getting into porn and I'm the casting agent.  Maybe we'll tell you about it someday ]

Searching

Holy Shit!  Yesterday was an all-time one-day site visit record for Hubman’s Hangout.  Sarah is gonna be seriously flattered, I bet!  And yet I feel bad because I didn’t get to visit a large number of my favorite blogs AND I had a number of visitors who commented for the first time.  So if I usually comment on your blog but was absent yesterday, I’m sorry

But I had a good reason!  Darling Boy tested for his next belt in karate in the evening and we’re very happy to say that he passed with flying colors.  Veronica and I are SOOOOOO proud of our little man!!

After his test, we hustled the kids home and got changed.

Why?  Because we had a date with a new couple!!  Just a dinner and drinks, get-to-know-you thing.  All I’ll say for now is we had a very nice time and look forward to seeing them again, hopefully with less clothes involved

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One of the challenges in searching for a couples or a single woman to play with is wading through all of the profiles on our favorite lifestyle website. It seems like for every well-written profile that actually tells us a little about them, there are 5 useless profiles. What separates the good from the bad, and yes, even the ugly?

Allow me to illustrate with some examples!  [In the interest of full disclosure, I'll share our profile at the end]

This is a excellent example of a profile that would get our attention:

We Are Looking For:
We are a fun couple looking for attractive woman/couples for some fun times. She is bi and he is straight. She enjoys the ladies and to have him watch and then join in. We’re into toys and playing in fun and unique places. We like the parties and enjoy groups of 2 or more. Sometimes, we like to meet a sexy couples, 2 on 2, for some discrete fun.
Description:
Fun loving, attractive, professional couple looking to experiment. We enjoy parties, dancing and social drinking. We enjoy traveling and making love outside the bedroom. She is very attractive, exhibitionist with all the curves is the right places. He is tall, attractive, fit and very friendly. We are social drinkers, non-smokers, and looking for the same. We are open to many situations depending on the comfort level of all. We enjoy going out to clubs or sometimes just meeting for a drink. We like to have a good time.

Reading this profile, you get the sense they know their boundaries and what they’re looking for.  In addition, they have pictures that don’t reveal their faces, but does offer enough to confirm their physical descriptions.  The presence of  a private gallery (which can only be viewed with permission of the couple) indicates that they are willing to show more to a couple they may be interested in meeting.  They would get our attention.  In fact, they have

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Compare that profile to any of these, copied in their entirety without editing:

Profile 1:

We Are Looking For:
Looking to find a male or female friend. Would like to start out with drinks etc. and see where things go
Description:
“normal” looking couple – good looking professional

Our fantasies and/or real experiences: left blank
What else we’d like to say, do, see, hear about and/or learn: left blank

Profile 2:
We Are Looking For:
Friendly, educated people. We love to watch and be watched.
Description:
We are fun, open minded, relaxed, good company.
Our fantasies and/or real experiences: left blank
What else we’d like to say, do, see, hear about and/or learn: left blank

Profile 3:
We Are Looking For:
Not sure yet, pretty much just testing the water in this lifestyle
Description:
He’s 5’10 around 200, she’s 5’6 around 130. We both try to stay in shape
Our fantasies and/or real experiences: left blank
What else we’d like to say, do, see, hear about and/or learn: left blank

Thanks to all 3 couples, who have told us NOTHING substantive or interesting about themselves.  In fact, some indicate they don’t even know what they are looking for!  Are we supposed to help them figure it out?  They left entire sections of the “About us” page blank, as well.  And there are no pictures.  They’re probably wondering why no one is contacting them or replying to their messages…

As far as “the ugly” I’ve decided to spare you the image of the 500 lb woman [no, I'm not exaggerating, that was her listed weight!] in a g-string.  I needed a brain-bleaching after seeing that one!

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And here is our profile.  Of course we have pictures.  I’d share a few, but you’ve seen them all before, since they’re mostly recycled HNT pictures

We Are Looking For:
We are seeking a laid back, fun couple that enjoys good conversation and great sex.

We believe that the brain is a major sex organ and are interested in people who feel the same. While we are relatively new to the lifestyle, we have been fortunate enough to have some great experiences and want to continue exploring.
Description:
After 18 wonderful and sexy years together we find ourselves at a place where we are secure enough in our love and commitment to each other to open our relationship.

She: Is your sweet neighbor who collects your paper and mail when you are away and brings you homemade cookies. Until you get her behind closed doors. There you will find she is very serious about the ‘lady in the drawing room, whore in the bedroom’ philosophy.

He: Is the nice guy you see coaching the soccer team, happily carting the kids around with a twinkle in his eye. Then you get him alone and that twinkle transforms into a mischievous grin. He must please you with his hands, his mouth, and eventually his cock.

We have been described as attractive, sexy, and fun. We love good conversation and can appreciate all kinds of humor.

Please don’t take yourself too seriously, since we don’t, and come prepared for good times both in and out of the bedroom.
Our fantasies and/or real experiences:
We both enjoy FMF threesomes and foursomes. Her favorite experience is to be on her back, enjoying a quality pounding while her husband is fucking the other woman doggie style. She especially likes to be able to lick and suck the other woman’s clit while she is getting fucked.

We think that being able to watch and be watched during sex is incredibly hot, and is an experience we would like to repeat frequently.

She also loves to get fucked while sucking a cock, and enjoys having sex on tables,among other surfaces. If you have a pool table to take her on, she is more than game.

We actually have many fantasies, and would like to explore each and every one of them with the right people. One fantasy she especially has is a DP.
What else we’d like to say, do, see, hear about and/or learn:
If we are corresponding with you, we want to MEET you, and hopefully have sex with you, though we prefer to talk on the phone at least once before actually meeting. So if you are not serious about meeting, please move on.

As a busy professional couple with children we can understand the craziness of schedules and finding sitters, (although we are fortunate enough to have several reliable ones).

We are willing to host, but that has to be limited to daytime play dates or later in the evening meetings.

We are NOT interested in the following: Drama, Single Men, Drugs, or people who are interested in only emailing, IM’ing and Webcamming.

So what do you think?  Do Veronica and I have a good profile?

HNT- Sarah and Hubman

Sorry if the title mislead you, but you’re not going to get to see us together.  At least this time…

Allow me to re-introduce you to Sarah.  She was Veronica’s first female lover early last fall and an integral part of my “Adultery” post a little while ago.  Unfortunately, we haven’t seen her in a while, though not for lack of desire.  Yesterday she surprised us with a few photos ["in case we forgot what she looked like", as if that could happen...] and suggested we could use one for HNT.

Oh, sorry, I forgot to mention that she reads our blogs. And has even commented here in the past

Say hello to Sarah!

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During the week I actually shower at work more often than at home, since I usually exercise at lunchtime.  This is a glimpse of what you would see if you came into the men’s room as I’m stepping out of the shower

*Click-click for an alternate version*

Now go visit Osbasso and see who else is playing this week!

Happy HNT everyone!

Welcum home

I often arrive home from work, Darling Boy in tow, a little before Veronica does. I change out of my work clothes, take a seat in the living room and pick up the laptop.  I’m just mindlessly catching up on  blog here and there, replying to e-mails, whatever.  DB, he’s happy as a pig in shit with his Nintendo DS.

Veronica and Princess Persistent arrive home.  PP commences assaulting her brother and Veronica heads of to change after kissing me hello.  A voice calls out from our bedroom…

Honey, I’m getting changed, you wanna come see me?

Of course!  Since I often leave the house in the morning before she’s even dressed, I haven’t seen what’s underneath her everyday office wear.  Well, I know it’s always a thong and matching bra, but which one?  This is an important question!

And now the evenings foreplay begins…

I walk into the bedroom and there is Veronica, skirt already off and bare-legged, but still wearing her blouse and smiling seductively.  She pulls me close and we kiss, hands wrapping around each others bodies.  I drop one hand over the curve of her ass, rubbing the soft fabric of her blouse against her.

We separate, allowing her to unbutton her shirt, revealing her cranberry red bra a little bit at a time.  Before I know it the shirt and bra are gone and there she is, in nothing but her thong, looking utterly delicious.

My cock is straining against it’s confines, so I make sure the door is locked and push my pants down, allowing my cock to spring free.  I’m not just erect, I’m practically standing straight up.  [Very NSFW link.  Don't say I didn't warn you...].  Veronica drops to her knees, taking me deep, running her lips up and down the shaft, twirling her tongue around the swollen head.  I notice her reach down and push her thong off her hips and down around her knees.  She withdraws my cock from her mouth with an audible lip-smack and stands, removing her thong the rest of the way in one smooth move.

Tease me, show me what you’ve going to do to me later tonight…

She lays back on the bed, opening her silky smooth thighs for me.  I rub the head up and down her slit a few times, then roughly push my way inside, making her gasp from the abruptness of my entry.

And 30 seconds later, I pull out.  “That’s enough for now” I announce, “We’ll have time to finish later”

Once the kids are asleep, of course.

And after we take our HNT pictures for this week

TMI Tuesday #179

No miscellany intro this week, other than thanks to those of you who chimed in with comments about my issues with Google Reader.  Glad to hear I’m not the only one!

Click here and let them know if you play!!

1. Ever Googled a date, a potential date or an ex?

I have Googled an ex-girlfriend, she was my one serious GF in high school and we’ve lost track of each other over the years.  But with the popularity of Facebook, if I’m interested in reconnecting with an old friend, I just look there.

I’ve never Googled someone as some form of a “background check.”  That’s kinda creepy.

Though out of pure curiosity, I have Googled myself!

2. Do you gossip?

Generally no, and last weeks TMI was a reminder why I shouldn’t.  I shared something about secrets and another blogger, which lead to some e-mails back and forth between us.  The origin of my response had to do with meeting a different blogger and what could only be called gossiping.  From the start, I handled it poorly.

‘Nuff said…

3. How many people do you completely trust?

Completely?  Veronica, without a doubt.  My parents.  Perhaps 2-3 select friends.  I think that’s about it.

4. Have you ever had sex in car?

Oral, hell yes, on numerous occasions   Veronica and I did try sex in the backseat once, years and years ago.  Do you realize that I’m 6’2″?  Not exactly a build conducive to car sex.

Though I do have plans for the back of my truck some time this summer!

5. What is your best flirting technique: innuendo, telling a dirty joke, talking about sex life, or physical contact?

Did you read my post yesterday?  I don’t think I’m a good flirt, though Veronica disagrees.  Eye contact, good conversation and the ocassional hand-grazing-her-body-somewhere-nonsexual is a good way to flirt.  Dirty jokes and talk of sex life are too crude, imho, for flirting with someone I’m interested in.  Not that I’m against a good dirty joke.

Bonus (as in optional): How many times is the most you have ever had sex in a 24 hour period?

Four.  On numerous occasions   Anyone care to join us to help me go for 5? 6?

Hmm, now that I think about it, if you include solo sex, perhaps the number is higher.  In my younger days, of course…

Google Reader fuck-up

Anyone else having trouble with Google Reader?

It’s really delayed updating.  And not just by a few hours, which is what I consider ‘normal’.

I got home from work today, turned on the computer, signed into Reader, and there were 32 un-read posts.

But here’s the kicker.  Some of them were as much as 4 days old!!!!

According to my Reader Morning Glory updated at 5:17 pm.  But it’s last weeks HNT!  4 days ago!!

The same thing with Ms. Lily’s Erotic Roundtable.  4 days late updating.

And on Saturday 3 ‘new’ posts appeared from Sexy Sadie all at once.  Yup, you guessed it, they were from the preceding 3 days.

Anyone have any idea what the fuck is going on?