Friday Fill-in and Musings on Blog Traffic

First, the musings…

I was reading a piece on The Daily Beast about Glenn Beck losing a lawsuit he brought against a parody website called DidGlennBeckRapeandMurderAYoungGirlin1990.  Rather than repeat the story, click here for the Daily Beast article and here for the parody site.  I’ll leave the irony of a “one-world government” conspiracy theorist using the World Intellectual Property Organization court [part of the United Nations] to file his claim for another day…

Anywho, the point of all this comes back to this quote from the article: “The site, which launched at the beginning of September, took off quickly, with 120,000 hits in its first 24 hours”

Excuse me? 120,000 hits in 24 hours?  How the fuck does that happen?

It’s taken me 10+ months to get to just shy of 150,000 hits.  While I’ve come close, I’ve never had 1000 hits in a day.

Don’t get me wrong, I understand that there is a world of difference between a blog mocking a very well known political commentator and my humble little corner of the blogosphere, so I realize we’re comparing apples and beer.  But I do seriously wonder how that sort of growth happens.  That must be some amazing word-of-mouth.

Whatever I’m doing to try to grow my blog audience [no, that's not why I blog but yes, it would be nice], clearly I’m doing something wrong…

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And…here we go!

1. The last band I saw live was Godsmack in December 2006.
2. What I look forward to most on Thanksgiving is when it’s over and I can escape from hell Long Island.  Seriously, I love the craziness of Turkey Day at my in-laws. (if you don’t celebrate thanksgiving, insert your favorite holiday)
3. My Christmas/holiday shopping is not even started yet.
4. Thoughts of Veronica, a new digital SLR, and an upcoming rendezvous (not necessarily in that order) fill my head.
5. I wish I could wear what I want to work some days, instead of a uniform.
6. Bagpipes sometimes sound God-awful, but are perfect for the occasion other times.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to picture taking with Veronica once the kids are asleep, tomorrow my plans include going to the gym, working on some blog posts, reading blogs for the first edition of e[lust], and a swingers meet-and-greet party and Sunday, I want to recover and watch football!

Sex is on her to-do list

It’s pretty rare that I mock my wife on here, but today is a special day, and my mockery is relevant to her first ever post.  You see, my lovely, darling wife Veronica titled her very first post, published 2 yrs ago today “Sex is on my to-do list“.

Here is her to-do list from that day:

To Do 11/13/07
Laundry
Make Dental Appointment
Get soymilk out of rug
Call Bank of America about promotional money
Fuck Husband
Make Christmas List

You believe that?  Fucking me was nothing more than a chore to be crossed off her t0-do list!  And notice that I wasn’t even “Hubman” yet.  I was just “Husband” to her.

Keep reading that post and it’s amazing what she had to say to me when she knew I wasn’t reading her blog.  In fact, I only knew about her blog several months later, when I stumbled across it while looking for something in the browser history.  I wonder what she’d write today if I still didn’t know about her blog!

Now, we just assume we’re going to sex every day, and usually do.  Are you complaining now, Veronica? Yeah, I didn’t think so!

Then there is this little tidbit at the end of the post: “Also, that double penetration thing, can anyone tell me how much coordination is required for that. I mean, I sprained my ankle during step aerobics so I just can’t imagine doing that without spraining something else.”

Contrast that with this quote from our profile on Swappernet: “She is very curious to try a DP and is looking for the right man to help us make that happen.”

My, how things change…

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Before anyone gives me crap for picking on my wife, she read this before I scheduled it.  And I wasn’t really insulted when I stumbled across her blog for the first time and read that first post.  I’m just playing with her and she knows it.

Here’s an outtake from yesterday’s HNT.  This was the first shot I took, when I was still messing around with the camera position, the lighting, and were I should be standing.  Since numerous readers suggested that I start a Yoga HNT series, I think I’ll do that.  I have some poses in mind, but suggestions are always welcome!

HNT Virabhadrasana II Edition

What, you don’t know Sanskrit?  How about “Warrior II Edition”?

Not as often as I should, but I occasionally practice Yoga and Warrior II is one of my favorite poses.  It challenges my strength, flexibility, balance and concentration all in one pose.

*click-click for another view*

Veronica is continuing her thankful series this week and wearing some brand-new lingerie for the occasion.  The Dirty Side’s HNT features her and Veronica together, photographed by yours truly.   Osbasso is the man to see for the rest of the half-nekkidness and visit The Other HNT if a NSFW brand of nekkidness is your thing.

My Circle? and Veteran’s Day Thoughts

A reader who e-mailed me a suggestion for Swing Shift prefaced it with something that kinda bothered me:

Since I’m not a member of your circle, but just an occasional lurker, it might as well be anonymous.

Is there a perception that there is some sort of inner circle among my readers?  It’s no secret that I have some good friends who read this blog.  But you know what? Every one of them started out as a reader who commented on my blog, or I did so on their blog.  None of us would know each other if not for this blog or Veronica’s blog.

I do notice that most of my comments come from the same core group of people, many of whom are among those I consider friends, and I don’t really mind that.  But I guess I would mind it if it’s because any of you don’t feel welcome and just lurk.  If that’s all you prefer to do, great, and thank you for taking the time to read.  But if you have something to say, please do!

I’ll admit it, I’m a comment whore and love the interaction.  The more the merrier I say!  Look at this screenshot of a comment from a few days ago. Not only can you leave comments, but by using the Reply function your comment can be directed towards someone, either myself or another reader.

I have 2 simple rules for comments- they should be relevant to the post and any personal attacks or insults will not be tolerated. Break either of those rules and I’ll delete the comment.

If anyone has ever commented and then wondered why it didn’t show up, that’s usually because WordPress places all comments from a new IP address in moderation.  So whether you’re a long-time commenter or someone new, your comment will have to wait until I can read and approve it before it will appear on the blog, which if I’m busy with life might take a little while.  But once that IP address is approved, all future comments will appear right away.

By the way, Suburban Hotwife was referring to hidden click-thru pictures in my post on Sunday.  Both of my posts yesterday had hidden click-thru pictures as well.  You might want to get into the habit of clicking on any visible images- you never know if there might be a hidden treat *wink*

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Let’s not forget that today is Veteran’s Day here in the US.

“We sleep soundly in our beds because rough men stand ready in the night to visit violence on those who would do us harm.”

“A Veteran is someone who once wrote a blank check payable to the United States for any amount, up to and include his or her life”

If you have the chance, thank a Veteran today.

TMI Tuesday #212

Today we are celebrating Between My Sheets Top 100 Sex Bloggers of 2009 by stealing some ideas from the top sex blooger, Coquitten 100th post. Yes, I am that desperately short on new material.

1. I lost my virginity at 18, in the back of a car, on prom night. Where and when did you lose yours?

In my off-campus student apartment in Cortland, NY on Friday, October 12, 1990.  With Veronica.

2. I think my ass is my best sexual feature. What is yours?

For a man, I think I have pretty good legs.  And my ass seems to generate a fair amount of positive comments on Thursdays.  But I think my best sexual feature is not physical, it’s mental- my ability to read a lovers body language and focus on her pleasure.  Or at least, try too…

3. A recurring theme in my fantasies is being slammed up against the wall. Do you have a recurring fantasy or a theme to your fantasies?

I have a lot of fantasies, some of which I’ve been able to experience, others are still on my sexual bucket list.

4. I love watching guys masturbate. Do you enjoy watching others (a partner or a stranger) masturbate?

Watching Veronica or another partner masturbate is very hot.  And instructive *wink*.

5. I hate when guys are quiet in bed. I like to hear you moaning as you cum. Do you like you partners quiet? Are you quiet?

I’m not loud, but I’m not exactly quiet either.  I hate a quiet partner, makes me wonder if she’s enjoying herself.  I have a friend in GA who was far from quiet and I loved it.  And the hotel guests in the adjoining rooms probably did too!

Another friend has teased me that she’s fairly vocal when she’s getting fucked.  Next week I plan on finding out just how vocal she is.  Hehehe

6. I love playing with nipples. Do you having your nipples played with?

I’ve recently discovered that I do like my nipples played with, gently.  No biting or rough pinching for me, though.

7. My ‘number’ is between 15 and 25. What is your ‘number’?

My number is also between 15 and 25.

p.s. Thank you to Coquitten for the ideas and the quotes. And congratulations to her and the other 99 on this year’s top 100 list.

p.p.s. Anyone have some questions they’d like answered? Don’t have a a full set? Individual questions are fine. It isn’t pressing, yet. Please, send me your ideas/questions! EMAIL me at prince[dot]hapnik[at]gmail[dot]com!.

Political Correctness Be Damned

Sometimes, you just have to share some jokes and risk irritating a few people… [Images taken from Sik World]

Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar.

Why aren’t there any Puerto Ricans on Star Trek?
Because they’re not going to work in the future, either.

What do you call an Alabama farmer with a sheep under each arm?
A pimp.

How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say fuck?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!

What’s the Cuban national anthem?
“Row, Row, Row Your Boat”

A blonde comes home one day to find her husband banging another woman.

“Billy, what are you doing?!” she cries.

Billy looks at his lover and says “See. I told you she was stupid.”

[Who me?]

What do blondes and turtles have in common?
When you get them on their backs…..they’re both fucked

A young man walks up and sits down at the bar. “What can I get you?” the bartender inquires.
“I want 6 shots of Jagermeister,” responded the young man.
“6 shots?!? Are you celebrating something?”
“Yeah, my first blowjob.”
“Well, in that case, let me give you a 7th on the house.”
“No offense, sir. But if 6 shots won’t get rid of the taste, nothing will.”

[Any ladies who have my number, you know I like it!]

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Tits for Troops should be up, as usual you can find Veronica and I there.  And there might be another picture of she and I somewhere around here…

Swing Shift Volume 19- Getting Rejected Sucks

Just when I’m wondering what to write about for the next volume of Swing Shift, along comes one of my readers with an excellent suggestion.  Have I mentioned before that I have the best readers?

Here’s a suggestion for a future Swing Shift, it has to do with rejection.

You’ve written about rejecting others at every stage – not answering ads, not replying to emails, chatting but not meeting, meeting but invoking your escape phrase, even swinging and deciding not to do it again.

But how does it feel on the other side? Have you been rejected at any of these stages? Did it lead you to think you were doing something ‘wrong’ or re-evaluate yourselves in any way? (If it hasn’t happened, how do you think you’ll react?)

Have we been rejected? Of course!!!  I think it would be exceptionally arrogant of us not to expect to get rejected, perhaps even more often that we’re not.  Rejection in the lifestyle takes many forms

• We’ve contacted couples that we find attractive, only to be either ignored or told “No thanks, we’re not interested”

Veronica:  Usually people just ignore us.  This pisses me off.  If you are not interested, just send us a quick  email.    Hubman and I email everyone within 48 hours of receiving your email .  Be polite dammit!

• We’ve gone a date with a couple, only to be blown off by them when we attempted to arrange a second date.

Veronica: This has happened once.  We had a date scheduled with them, but had to cancel due to PP deciding to projectile vomit a lot the night before.  Every time we tried to reschedule, they blew us off, citing scheduling issues.   This couple is another reason that we prefer people who are parents.  A couple who had kids would not have been huffy about this.

• We’ve swapped with a couple, only to be blown off by them when we told them we wanted to see them again.

Veronica: We had one couple that did not want to see us after one swap, but they apparently had underlying relationship issues.  We also find that after the third swap sometimes people lose interest.  I think that sometime in the lifestyle people say that they want a long term couple, but are really looking for the constant “new”, and then after having sex a couple of times, it is not “new” anymore.

It is challenging, but we try not to take rejection personally.  When you are with other couples they could be having some relationship issues or other issues that we may know nothing about. Sometimes  after a dry spell or a bad date or some rejection I stomp my foot and pout about wanting to quit,  but I just brush myself off, take a day to lick my wounds and move on.

Whenever possible, we reject another couple as gently as possible.  No need to be insulting, right?  We feel strongly that every couple who contacts us at least deserves the courtesy of a response.  If it’s a couple we’re not interested in, we might say we’re not interested, or tell a little white lie [too far away, not enough time right now, etc].

There was one occasion where we had to be blunt and tell a couple they were bad in bed.  Not familiar with The Tale of Ned and Ann?  Look at the top of this page for that tab.

Recently, I told a couple we were not interested, but my timing really sucked.  I was chatting online with the male half of a couple who contacted us through one of the websites we belong to.  From their public pictures, they seemed like an attractive couple.  But while he and I were chatting, he gave us access to their private gallery, which included face pictures of both of them, and I reciprocated. Unfortunately, I didn’t think that she was attractive, and moments after that revelation, he asked if we would be interested in meeting for dinner sometime, and I declined the offer.  Coming right after I saw face pictures, the message was clear- I did not think that his wife was attractive.  Looking back, this was one of those times where a little while lie would have been better.

The lesson here is that while we feel that it pays to be direct and not lead a couple on, timing can be everything.

Veronica:  If this happens to you, tell them that the partner has to check the calendar and wait a few days to get back to them.  Then reject them.  Once again be polite.

As far as re-evaluating ourselves, I don’t think we’ve done that.  We’ve changed ‘the rules’ along the way and maybe questioned if we might have done something to turn a couple off, but we’re still who we are, you like us or you don’t.  And not everyone is going to like us, which is fine, though hard to believe

So while getting rejected sucks, it’s going to happen once in a while.  Be prepared for it, accept it when it happens, and move on.

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As always, readers comments are welcome.  For our readers in the lifestyle, what are your experiences with rejection?  Any horror stories to share?  We’re in need of suggestions for future editions of Swing Shift, so if you have any idea, please either leave your suggestion in the comments or e-mail me at hubman38 at gmail dot com if you’d prefer to remain anonymous to everyone else.

Scenes from Beantown, and Elsewhere

Back in July when our friend M visited us, we took her for a tour of Boston.  We enjoyed showing her around, even if she’s a freak and didn’t like cannoli from Mike’s Pastry.  A few weeks ago Southern Vixen visited and again, we took her for a tour of Boston.  Why not, right?  Neither of them had ever seen the city before, I know my way around pretty well, and I even have access to free parking in the heart of the North End, aka Boston’s Little Italy!

So now that the female half of The Dirty Side is here [dammit, still need a name for her!], again we have a guest who has never been to Boston before.  So off we went.  As a bonus, knowing that I’m shopping around for a digital SLR, she brought her Canon Rebel 450D for me to play with, which is what I used for these pictures.

Right from where we parked, we could see 2 significant historical sights, the USS Constitution aka Old Ironsides in the foreground and the Bunker Hill monument in the background.

Just a few blocks down the street is another sight, the Old North Church and a statue of Paul Revere.  Remember “One if by land, two if by sea”?  Yes, this is that church tower!

As we headed out of the North End and towards government center, we had a good view of the TD Garden, home of the Celtics and Bruins, along with the Zakim Bridge.

Just a few blocks later we reached what I think of as the heart of historical Boston, the Quincy Market/Faneuil Hall/Old State House area. This is the front of Faneuil Hall.

I have a lot more pictures, some of which I’ll probably mix in with other posts later this week.

We’ve had a fantastic visit with her so far and will be sad to see her go tomorrow.  But she has kids of her own missing her and a job to return to.  Not to mention a husband who has been teased with pictures all weekend long

Lazy Saturday

Not much going on around here today.  Anyone who follows me on Twitter or reads The Dirty Side of Us knows that the female half of that couple [who really needs to come up with a name for us to call her by!!] is visiting Veronica and I this weekend.

As I write this the ladies are at Princess Persistent’s dance class, then they’re planning a trip to the mall later today.  I hear that there is a visit to Fredericks of Hollywood on the agenda.  Don’t worry, my naughty friends, I fully intend on having them model their purchases for me later tonight.  And take pictures

I hope you’re all having a great weekend!

Buying Condoms For The Very First Time

My Swing Shift post on Monday reminded me of the very first time that I bought condoms.  Or rather, I was unknowingly dragged along on a condom buying trip…

In June of 1987 I was 17 yrs old and still a virgin [and would be for 3 more years, until Veronica forced herself upon me, had mercy on me and I met].  Among my good friends were Monica and her boyfriend Nick, and our mutual friend Jane.  Monica is a year older than me, Jane 2 years younger.  Jane was [still is, actually, we're still friends and stay in touch] a very pretty brunette who just happened to have a pretty serious crush on me.  I knew about her crush but didn’t act on it.  Why?  God only knows…

Monica was graduating high school that year, and we were all at her house for a big family and friends graduation party.  Sometime during the afternoon Jane finds me, says that she needs to get something from the store, and could I please drive her there.  So off we go.

Who knows what we talked about, but I never asked what she needed to get.  We get to the store and continued chatting while wandering the aisles.

So, which ones do you prefer?

I realize that she’s stopped in front of the shelves with all of the condoms.

Come on, you must have a preference?

I’m pretty embarrassed right about now.  Here I am, 17 yrs old, with a girl 2 years younger than me, talking about condoms.  I’d never even gotten close to needing condoms yet and her brazen demeanor had me kinda rattled. Not that I was some smooth operator in the first place…

Did I mention the middle-aged woman working the cash register and watching us?  Yeah, that didn’t help.

I ask Jane to stop messing with me, and could we please just get whatever we came here for and go back to Monica’s party.

But this IS what we came here for!

As it turns out, Monica and Nick wanted to have sex later that day once the party was over, but didn’t have any condoms.  She couldn’t exactly leave during her own graduation party, so she asked Jane if she could help her out.

Who knows what the woman working there thought of us- the nervous and rattled 17 yr old guy and the confident 15 yr old girl who is taking charge of the condom purchase.  I couldn’t get out of there soon enough!

Postscript: Years later, Jane confided that she was pretty sure I would be embarrassed, so she decided to mess with me that day.  As recently as this past June, 22 yrs later, I saw Jane, this story came up in conversation, and we shared a good laugh at the memory!

Have a great weekend!!